Does this sound legitimate? Or is he lying to me?

Me and my boyfriend had the most wonderful relationship. We were best friends beforehand, everything was perfect, all that. He had to move away and distance drove us apart. He dumped me. It was messy. We didn't talk for two years.

Fast forward, he moves back into town for college. He contacted me and got emotional, saying he couldn't believe he let the distance get between us and he regretted it so much and was so sorry about everything he'd done. We met up and the spark was still there. We hung out a lot over summer, slept together, acted like a couple. At the end of summer I asked him if he wanted to get back together.

He told me that he didn't see a future with me. He said he loved me so much and really wished things would work out but because of our past (?) and our cultural differences, we would never be married and he would rather try and be friends than date and split like we had before.

He keeps telling me that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. But one night he let it slip that he was telling me that to push me away so we could still be friends. Whenever I see him, he always cuddles me and holds me.

Why would he keep me around like this? Does he really want to be friends? I'm thinking I should break contact with him. Can anyone help with what he could be thinking?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Next time you see him, this is how you should approach:
    4.bp.blogspot.com/.../...5c4-9efb-a2c71d9de62b.jpg

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    • Wow it's really that obvious? I feel so blind :-P

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    • It's the clear convenience factor. Everything he's doing screams "You are convenient and available. I can get what I need without actually being with you."

    • Oh I see. Thank you for answering! :-)

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What Guys Said 3

  • He's doing what a lot of woman do. He cares for you but he doesn't want to date and eventually lose you because he doesn't see being able to marry you. If you just stay friends he thinks that he can keep you in his life. It's a lose lose for you in my opinion.

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    • Thank you! This helped :-)

  • You are his fall back girl. As long as he has a woman interested in him he has more confidence with other women. Without you he is nothing. Does he love you, "no" he loves the things you do for him.

    A man who has a woman interested in him carrries the stink of a woman on him and women are attracted to that stank, wether it is actual or mental.

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    • So you think he wants to keep me around to keep his confidence up? Woah that's... that's awful. I'm breaking contact.. :-/

  • side chick::(

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    • Is it that obvious? :-/ Wow I'm blind

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    • You better!:p

    • Is it alright if I ask what made it so obvious that I was a side chick? I think some clarity might help. And yes I will haha don't worry :-D

What Girls Said 3

  • Sorry tp break it to you but he only wants you as a side chick :(

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  • I think he wants to be with you but he doesn't want anything happen like that past. If it did it would hurt you too alot. He just doesn't want to feel the guilt that he has stopped talking to you

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  • You gotta break it off with him. Classic dude with commitment issues.
    Don't let him near you to "cuddle" you, you should be appalled that he is pulling that crap, toying with you and playing those mind games on you.
    He will never commit, and will only ever string you along and keep you emotionally invested in him waiting on the sidelines, forever feeling short changed.
    Don't let this be your life. This will go on for as long as you let it.
    Time to pull the plug! Rip the rug right out form underneath him. You should be livid.

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    • Thank you so much I really needed to hear that :-) He's trying really hard to be friends with me, do you have any ideas what to say to him?

    • Bing friends will always teeter into this territory, so he's wanting to stay in your good graces by being "friends," I'd just fade away and break contact, but if you want to say something I'd just say this isn't for me, I don't feel we will genuinely just be friends and I feel like you're holding me back and what's best for me is to move forward from you. It's going to open a can of worms, though, and lots of convincing will happen... It really is best mentally to just move on. M

    • Sounds like a plan, thank you :-)

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