How can you define what your ex bf really wants without pressuring him?

So my ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago and has even told me he started seeing someone else.. I was so crushed.. however when we wld talk (we work together) I wld ask about us and he wld tell me he doesn't want to talk about us right now that all we can be is friends right now and maybe in the future we can be something else.. he broke up with me because he saw guys on my. phone complimenting me and automatically assumed I had a thing with them.. he tells me he cnt trust me right now... however in the times weve hung out he has hugged me tight and kissed me.. I asked days later again about us and he told me to stop pressuring him and to give him space to deal with his issues.. it sucks because he seems like he doesn't know what he wants.. he's talking to this girl he just met (who is also leaving him for 2 wks and she cnt explain why) yet has also kissed me... I wish I knew what was really going on in his mind.. how do I give him space without smothering? How do I make him want me? Why does he cut me off Everytime I ask about working things out etc... what do u think is going on and how can I prove to him or make him see what he is missing without being too far apart or smothering? Please help!!!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Let him have his space. He's got to work this out in his head. If you really want it to work just be there at work, but don't keep pushing him. You'll completely push him away.

    • I feel if I give him space he's going to think I've moved on... so lately I've been trying to be flirty and show him interested or miss him but like I said when I ask him he gets angry he's told me before I dnt want to see you hurt your going to make me want to leave this job... he said you want to show me than just be my friend.. but how do I do that when he's over here spending time with some girl he just met.. why do you think he gee ya a. htm when I try to talk about it?

    • Show All
    • Your right... because when I tried to just talk about stuff like friends he wld text me and than one night he kissed me for the first time after our breakup.. that made me realize fight for it.. but than my bff told me he told her he spent time with the new girl and that scared me to I kept asking him to spend time with me.. now he's like scared to spend time with just me.. but I tell him your scared because your afraid of facing your feelings deep down you still have feelings for me.. and that's when he says I dnt want to talk about it.. overall when he works with me like today he was trying to make me smile but I was just answering his? s should I continue to do that or try to joke back? But I feel like if I do this he's going to think im happy again and everything is ok and im never going to get him to talk to me

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm only 17 so I'm just going to try my best at this... If he's hugging and kissing you after the break up obviously he still feels something. But if he just broke up with you because he saw guys complimenting you and assumed you had a thing with them then just forget about the whole thing. He has trust issues and it isn't your fault. Specially if you keep asking him about "us" and he gives you silly excuses every time. The only way, in my opinion, to prove to this guy on what he is missing out is to move on to a new person like he allegedly has. That would completely throw him off because it's not him that you want to be with anymore. And in my opinion, girls shouldn't have to prove anything to guys if they are the ones that have the problem. I hope this helps :)

    • I feel to show him what I want I need to fight for it but its hard when he tells me he needs space I feel ima lose him more... he wants me to be his friend and see me joke around and smile like the good old days but thats not possible for me im heartbroken... he doesn't trust me but yet this girl is leaving for 2 weeks and cnt even really explain why and he's over here finding excuses as "well she's nice to me hangs out with me and hasn't disrespected me yet" I go obviously because u just met her everything always seems perfect at first

    • Then this guy has problems with making up his mind. You don't want to be the girl that gets to be stuck as either a friend or something more and be confused about it. I was heartbroken once and it killed me to a point where I realized that if I let this go further then I will be ruining my own life. I suggest you see what happens during the two weeks that this girl is gone and pursue it from there. If it works out and there is something then be with him. If it doesn't then find a new guy. But the most important thing is for you to be careful for yourself. If it's hurting you too much then this guy is not worth all that trouble. There are better guys out there worthy of you. :)

    • Thanks so much sweetheart!!

Recommended myTakes