I've broken up with my first boyfriend, we would have been together for 4 years in July (we got together just after my 14th birthday).. reasons for breaking up with him are (simplified) 1) We've grown into two very different people 2) I feel he doesn't respect me enough 3) We fight all the time over things that shouldn't be fought over (eg. I want him to quit smoking weed so we can start saving money to build an actual future, rather than waste it a way , when I suggested that all hell broke loose and that was the last straw) 4) He just is not the type of guy I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I've matured more than him in our 4 years together probably because I've been through a lot in that time. I'm still living with him until I can afford to move interstate back to where my siblings are, we still care a great deal about each other, at first he took it really hard when I sat him down and told him I can't be with him anymore, I've been miserable for so long so I need to take time out for myself, he was devastated and was quite mean to begin with, but he's a lot more understanding but I don't think he realizes how serious I am.. He's still acting like were together and I've been a bit cold, like not saying I love you back , i still give him a cuddle but only because I want us to be able to stay friends. i went down to see my sister and brother or my birthday over a weekend and I met someone else who is honestly too good to be true but I'm hoping he and I can start something when I move back, he's the exact opposite to my ex, and I have told my ex I met someone else and I plan on seeing where things go with him when I move.. I just need some advice on how to make it clear to my ex that this breakup is going to be permanent, that it isn't just a break, and that he isn't going to be able to change my mind.. I want to do it in the nicest way possible.. I care about him but we were going and now we've grown up and it just isn't going to work out
Most Helpful Guy
The first thing you have to do is move out of the same place. If you want the relationship to end you absolutely cannot live with him. It will take you longer to do the other things you want to do, but if you still share living space with him, you're still in a relationship whether you like it or not. Move out.
After you do that everything will get much easier since you won't have extended daily contact with him. To break it off with him gently, tell him dispassionately your reasons for splitting up, and that the relationship he wants is not the same as the one you want. Make it clear, and then that's it. Don't have physical contact, and don't check to see how he's doing. Move on to someone better and give him the freedom to find someone who wants the same thing he does.
If this doesn't work, see a counselor to get better suggestions.1