How to breakup with a possessive man?

Live in relationship but very hostel. I want to separate but don't want drama


Most Helpful Guy

  • Leave quick, don't give details on where you are going, end communication with him, never respond to his attempts at communication. These types usually turn violent when they can no longer control someone.

    Also if you can, make a point of documenting his abusive nature; have a recording device on when he is around and a cel phone with someone you can speed dial for back up or keep a friend on the line on the phone if he comes near you especially after breakup.

    I like another poster's idea about having backup.

    Read a book called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker to get a look into the minds of these types of people and how to deal with them.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yesterday I had just advised a girl in a bad situation who was with this schmo for 5 years. I told her to get out, lock, stock and barrel, and with everything I had went into deep detail with her about, she is definitely----Hitting the road, jack. It took her many years to Finally see he would never change, nor would anything ever get better.
    When Anyone is in this abusive, or even abusive and physical nowhere Relationship, it's time to take the bull by the horns and start thinking of yourself. Unless they are willing to get help with You in communicating and compromising, it is never going to be any different, just seeing things their way, or it's the Highway.
    Taking a break from one another is also the way to Begin your Beguine. If you don't want to just give him his walking papers right off the bat, then take a long recess from one another so you Both can do some serious soul searching. See how that goes first. Many couples do this first before putting the horse before the cart.
    But more than likely, even if you were to dangle a carrot over the ol' horsie's nose, he will still be standing in the stance, never Willing to dance.
    Good luck. xx

    • As far as 'Drama,' go somewhere where he cannot find you.. And if he starts his 'Act,' get some protection, depending how serious he is and This is...

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What Guys Said 6

  • Get Backup... Lots of it!!!

    many women go through and experience the same thing... and either get away, or it doesn't turn out so well (bad)!!!

    men/guys are possessive, controlling, selfish, dominating, arrogant, and intellectually impotent by nature!!!

    Last Case scenario... while alone, pack up all you care about... and Get The Fuck Out!
    ... get to a good friend who has stability and strength!!!
    ... begin your life anew, all over again!!!

    • and if the shit hits the fan... the law and court system is fair and quite observant in domestic abuse cases!!

  • yea if your expecting things to run very smoothly good luck. With possessive men you will have drama.. be prepared. First ask yourself why even continue with the charade, your not happy. Tell him you don't want to be with him anymore. And if he's dangerous... leave a note. "Peace"

    well not really but you get the point. And he's probably going to get lovey dovey... try not to buy into that whole "i was wrong, and ill change thing" never has a happy ending.

  • There's going to be drama any ways just go away get help from your family but if he's violent or a criminal call the police at the first change of voice tone you don't like.

    You are a strong wonderful woman just for the fact of making the right choice get a better guy possessive guys are dangerous and insecure.

  • There are multiple crucial steps for breaking up with a man.

    The steps from his bed to the front door. Boom, wham, NEXT.

    But in all serious, if he's whacked out in the head just pack up while he's sleeping and get the hell out.

  • Just tell him it's time for you two to move on cause your feeling to stressed out over him
    the worst he can do is start a argument than you get on phone call the police have them
    handle him when you live with someone and/ or married to someone whose hostel all
    the time it makes your health sick and is a unhealthy relationship all the way around
    growing up my father was a very hostile person he made our life's living hell day in
    day out in the Winter months when it was cold outside he made us stay in cold house
    all cause he didn't want the heat turned up cause it made him too warm than he would
    start petty arguments with my late mom over all kinds of stuff you can only take so much
    before you got to make a major suggestion in life but do it for the better.

  • just find a way out, move back home if you could


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