I recently broke up after a year long relationship. I'm 32 and my ex is 25. We had a really good relationship and I still love her as a friend (well kind of)... however things feel apart fast at the end of the relationship. It was not because of any particular incident... just a build up of little things. Anyway given that I'm not exactly a kid anymore my family has been pressuring me to settle down. My younger brother recently got his GF pregnant and plans on getting married. My little sister is getting married this fall to a long time boyfriend. I'm also getting pressure from my extended family (aunts/uncles) to settle down.
So this last weekend little brother visited me from out of state (I live in Socal... he's in Colorado). While he was out here he asked some questions about my ex... even insisted on meeting her. He's always been blunt and little bit of an asshole. He kept on making comments like "I can't believe you screwed this up" and "you are going to die a miserable, lonely old man" (yes he really said this). I kept making negative comments about my ex gf as mental strategy to help my mind move on from her. However he kept pressing me saying I made a huge mistake. I also got the same pressure from parents (not as bad... but along the same lines) when I called them a few days ago. The truth is there is nothing I can do at this point. Trying to contact my ex will only makes things worse (she dumped me). There is no "going back" but my family is pressuring me which is leading me into a very dark, depressing place. In fact I was doing alright until I started hearing this shit.
I finally broke down and screamed at my brother telling him what an a moron, retard, idiot he was for his comments. He's almost 29 and he's had his own breakups in the past. He should be a little smarter about this. When I went off on him I did feel much better. However I'm not sure how to deal with my extended family. Advice appreciated.
Most Helpful Girl
You need to tell everyone to mind their own business. Sometimes family thinks that just because they're family they can say whatever they want about anything, this is very very false. Would they prefer you rush into a marriage you weren't ready for and end up in divorce? I think not! Tell them this is about you and your own life and that you'd appreciate if their commentary about your love life remain mute. If they can't respect this I just wouldn't answer their calls or interact with them until they understand their mistake of not respecting your personal life.1