About three weeks ago I broke up my gf after a year long serious relationship. I'm 32 and she's 25 (mature girl). Overall the relationship was really awesome... but about halfway through it I started running into physical attraction problems. We would go on a date, eat great food, laugh at Archer, cuddle and do massages... but all in all I just didn't want the grand finale. Weird hearing this from a guy... but I just wasn't physically nterested anymore. Initially she chalked it up as me "being an old man"... truth was I didn't feel the spark towards her (but I admittedly did check out other girls... but I never ever acted on it). Then about 2 months ago she confronted me about it. I told her I thought she was attractive but I wanted the the sexual tension to build up more (she wanted to do it almost every time she saw me) and for me to take a traditional approach. A part of me was seriously asking for a break (temporary) to help me "freshen up/recharge" my feelings toward her. Then about 3 weeks ago we got into an argument about some trivial points... and she really broke down... the following week she dumped me. Can't say I don't blame her. However she told me "please don't be a stranger" at the end of our break up conversation. Since then we have had limited contact... but she has been real short and not asking any questions. Truth is I'm still emotionally (but not really physically) in love her. Losing her was like losing a best friend... a piece of myself. I miss talking to her everyday. I want to go out for food, have a few laughs... even a little massage (but no more than that). I also thought about how I would feel if she was seeing another guy (very real possibility it's happening right now since I wasn't meeting her physical needs). I would be slightly jealous... but not over the top.
Is it possible to be friends with her again? Would it be dangerous?
Most Helpful Girl
The problem is that if you continue to have a close relationship and are both providing each other with that level of intimacy and friendship (I'm not talking about sex here) then it's going to make it very difficult for either of you to find that with someone else. Sadly, losing a good and close friend whom you love is part of a break up, and severing that close tie is how you are able to move on, put those mixed feelings aside and meet a woman who will be able to provide you with a close friendship and who you also find sexually attractive. I'm not saying don't stay friends, but I don't think you can have as close a one as you have now.2