What to do while having coffee with the ex?

My ex and I were together for 11 months and we've been broken up for 5 months. She broke up with me because she didn't love me like she used to. I reluctantly agreed to still be friends with her because she said she still wanted me in her life... and I did too. I invited her to get coffee and she agreed. Part of me wants her back part doesn't. I don't feel like I'm going to break down and beg her to take me back or anything but I just don't know what to say or how to act. If she said she wanted to get back together I would probably say yes but at the same time I know it wouldn't last. I guess I just want some advice on what I should do? Just brush over my feelings that I still want her and not tell her or tell her how I feel and risk probable rejection? It's not going to crush me if she says no but I don't want her to draw further away if I say I still have feelings. We don't talk that much anymore but I feel like she does miss me more than she let's on or will ever admit. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What was your experience? Is there a possibility of getting back together and staying together after we already broke up once? When I see her in a few days for coffee, what do I do? What do I say? Should I just give up and move on as "just friends"? Anything helps, please and thank you!


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  • See how this meeting goes first. Feel her out. See how she acts with you, what topics she brings up, body language. If you feel that she's interested, then go for it if you don't mind being vulnerable to the potential rejection.

    Tell her its nice to see her, ask how she's doing, how she's been.

    If she just wants to be friends, then move on. Cut off all communication with her so you can just focus on yourself and move on. Once all feelings are gone then maybe you can be friends.

  • Trust me when I say this, although the idea of being friends sounds wonderful, in reality it is one of the worst things you can do in your situation. She broke up with you which shows you that she wasn't as into you as you were into her, by allowing yourself to be her friend you're constantly going to be reminded by the fact that this girl just didn't love you enough and trust me when I say this it really sucks, I know from experience having dated a guy for about a year and a half and then being friends and getting back together, it made it worse to be honest, because I never felt good enough after that, in the end I ended up getting my heart broken two times because I was stupid enough to want it again. If I could tell you this don't, there's a chance it could work but then you could end up like me, and once should have been enough. If you really want a future chance with this girl you can't let her hold the reigns so to speak, this girl is the one with more control than you have right now, she knows that you're vulnerable and hurt, she broke up with you, and you asking her to coffee shows that you're not ready to let go so to speak. This may be hard to take but you need to get some power back on your part, you've gotta cut her lose and let her know that you can't have it both ways, cause it's not fair, it also shows her that you have a backbone and that if she wants to get back together SHE needs to initiate not you, think about it. If you go to coffee say hello chat for a while etc. etc. etc. but when you're done cut her off, at least for six months or you have squat chance of anything but being a friend. Let her think of you as the one that got away.


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