My ex left me pregnant for a teenager, please help!

I'm currently 5 months pregnant with our second child, I'm 23 and my ex is 26, we were together 3 years.
I'm unsure weather he's going through a quarter life crises or what, but two weeks after we found out we were expecting our second child, he announced he was leaving and packed up his things and moved out of our house.
Within a week, I found out he was in a relationship with a 17 year old and they made it very public. Well she did, even had the cheek to message me saying "I won".
I had never been so hurt in all my life and it was totally unexpected.
I later found out he had cheated on me prior with her and she knew he had a family and it didn't stop her, or him.
They've now been together almost 4 months but he has split with her twice briefly and both times came back home but it just caused arguements so he left and went back to her, and in that time she would message me saying "I'll get him back just watch, he loves me".
Since they moved in together she's put all breaks on for us having contact even for our daughter and my unborn child, such as making them have a shared Facebook account and blocking me and making him change his number as well as telling everyone I'm the crazy ex and playing victim.
When he left, he told me he couldn't face me knowing he cheated, he cried and said he felt horrible and it made sense for him to leave with the person he cheated with.
Do you think he can really be happy?
I've always been so loyal and faithful, a great mum and cannot understand why he left for a girl that's just turned 18 and has nothing to offer!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What you need now is solutions for how to deal with the situation and not rantings about how horrible you've (and he's) done in the past.
    First of all you need to talk to a few people you can trust. On what terms are you with your parents? Furthermore you need financial aid: You will probably have to sue him for the aliments and that takes a good lawyer. You also need somebody to assist you at home. Again the question on what terms you are with your parents and if your mother is still working, I'm sure, a retired mother would love to help you out a little. Also seek some reliable friends, probably some who had children recently and can help you with taking care of the older one every then in a while.
    Are you working? Sooner or later you need a job without a breadwinner at home. Find other young mothers in a similar situation. When each other knows how hard it is, they'll all be glad to help each other out. Then you can take turns in taking care of the children and of each other depending on the workloads.

    He went for the young girl with the "perfect" body, because his "love" was based on your outside, barely on the inside... It's a very sad story, I'm sorry to hear. I still give you one tip at the end: Guys who want only sex have little patience to wait for it - you find the right ones by not giving them yourself for a very long time (I'm talking of two to three years, not a few months). "Waiting till married" is not only for religious and conservative girls - it's for any woman who wants to be sure to get a man who's after her and not her p*ssy.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • fuck! this situation sounds like a nightmare... that's why you should have been married and then get kids... is he happy? i think he is an adult who knows what he really wants in life... he have chosen that bitch who is causing harm to your relationship (if it still exists).. my advice to you will be to move on and just forget him... if he cheated once he will certainly do it again

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    • It's horrible! I wish we were married to but to be honest it probably would have made a difference :-(

    • just throw him out of your life... he doesn't care

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What Guys Said 6

  • Girls want bad boys but then don't like the consequences. You didn't know how he was after the first kid?

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    • He was great after our daughter, all this behavior is totally new. From a males perspective, what the hell is he thinking?

    • Well was the 2nd child planned? Maybe he's running away from his responsibility. How were things going up until then, were you fighting, were you having sex regularly? Basically there's no excuse for his actions. You need to go to court and make sure you are able to see kids or get custody (shouldnt be that hard since you are biological mom). Sorry this guy burnt you but I think its best you just move on, his actions are pathetic.

      A real man would have been excited over your 2nd kid and wouldn't block you from seeing your 1st. You need to find a real man like me, move on from this loser (also the fact he had to run and cheat with a naive 17 year old is telling, thats illegal in many places too).

      Move on hun, you deserve better. And block that woman from texting you

  • Dont have multiple children with men you aren't married to.

    This has nothing to do with a quarter life crisis, this has everything to do with someone who just doesn't love you. it took him two kids to realize it, but he doesn't love you. I would say move on, but that isn't an option with two children.

    The new girl has parents right? ttalk to them, tell them that the father has children to be responsible for. Take him to court, do something! don't just sit there and let this happen to do.

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  • Some girls and [grown up women!] just feel good , doing things like that:
    *- I knew at least two who were proud about having seduced their mom's lover.
    *- I knew at least one who was proud she'd been able to seduce her daughter's BF.

    Your ex is a silly donkey.

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  • He sounds like a dbag but im sure you knew that after the first child. Im sure you will find a poor sap "nice guy" to settle down with and pay for everything though, thats what women tend to do.

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    • I run a business and tend to be quite financially independent so not looking for anyone to pay my bills, not even thinking about a new partner yet, all this behavior is new to me, after our daughter he was great

  • He sounds like a piece of shit an playing the pity card he dosent seem like he's worth your time I would move on

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    • I would never take him back but at the same time I don't think he deserves happiness. You think he will regret, how can it last with a silly jealous 18 year old girl?

  • Call your parents or other relatives, your ex is an asshole and idiot.

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What Girls Said 6

  • That's awful. He has treated you terribly. Really terribly. I feel sorry for you, he is a total dirt bag. Why do you care about his happiness he doesn't care about yours or his family

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    • Your right, I just wonder if he's going through a crises or if this girl pressured him!

    • Its very difficult if not impossible to make a man do something he doesn't want to do by pressuring him. He wants to be with this girl, if it's any comfort to you I don't think it will work out. He's not having a crisis either, he is an immature little boy who hasn't grown up and doesn't want to man up and accept responsibility. I'm sorry but he should be shot

    • He should be shot lol

  • Once a cheater always a cheater... he will do this to her next. I know it's hard but cut your losses for the sake of your own well being and get rid of this loser. He's irresponsible, selfish and a liar. What's the point of sticking around, for more of it?

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  • Umm honestly? He sounds pathetic for letting a crazy ass 17 year old control his life and even stopping him from seeing his own daughter. Do not blame the little bitch, blame the stupid man being controlled by her. If my father was being controlled enough to the point he couldn't see me id be furious at him, letting someone get in the way of our relationship, especially a fucking teenager.

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  • Ouch... He is tempted by the sex, she offers him. Guys get like that.

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  • You should completely close that chapter of your life. That man is unworthy of your time.
    If he did it once with her, even if he comes back, he'll do it again and again. It will never stop.
    Were the pregnancies planned? Maybe he just doesn't want to be a father.
    That man is trash. You have no reason to want him back besides your emotions. Is he worth your feelings? No. A big fat no. That man will offer you nothing good in life.
    Do you want him to be a male role model to your children? I wouldn't. He's not a honorable man. He is dirt.
    I know it's easy for me to say and hard for you to do, but you should move on. When the glass breaks it never toes back the same. What he did is hideous. And what that little skunk did is also hideous. Those asswipes deserve each other.
    The only thing you can do is consult a lawyer. Just to know his costudy rights and how much he can pay each month for his children. I wouldn't want my kids to be with her. Hell no. You'll have no choice but to allow him to see the kids. Maybe you should take it to court. If he has no desire to see his kids then you have no reason to go to court.

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    • Well, does have a right to see his kids. He should be able to see his kids. I really shouldn't let my emotions pour into this. I just can't stand men like him. I've seen far too many guys like that for my liking. A friend of mine got pregnant by accident by her boyfriend of 7 years and he treated her the way he treats you. It's kinda personal because of what my friend went through.

  • Don't take him back, you doesn't deserve that asshole in your life, and your kids doesn't deserve that asshole in their lives. Doesn't matter how much he begs, or how much he cries, he is not getting back in your family. Let him be with his silly little girl, and go find someone else when you are ready. Tell the bitch she can keep him, and send a smiley face.

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