Is this something we can fix or not?

I was friends with this guy for a few years and he always let it be known to me that he wanted something more. I finally agreed and we were dating for a few months. I wanted it to work as he was my friend first so I kept it slow. We were also scared of committing although we were exclusive right from the start. We wanted to keep things quiet as we are reserved but we still hung out in public- We just didn't want to let everyone know. He had a profile on a dating site and kept it up although it annoyed me. I decided I'd keep mine up too as we weren't committing yet and we'd discuss it on and off but eventually I let it lie and didn't bring it up. Although I mentioned that eventually I would like a proper commitment he would say he wasn't ready just yet but was trying to be and I was happy with that as I felt it was more external factors that made me want more. A few weeks ago he told me he had deleted his account in an off hand sort of way and said it had nothing to do with me so I kept mine up. A couple weeks later we got in an argument as he was annoyed I hadn't deleted my account and said I should have known he'd done it for me! Also people apparently have been mentioning me to him which annoyed him as we were in a fight and were saying how he should treat me which upset him as he had a bit of a reputation when it came to girls. He said he wanted space while he was away but I said that if he cared more about what other people thought than what I did maybe we should just leave it. We haven't spoken since (for a week now). Do you think he'll come back?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the problem is a lack of true investment in this relationship. It seems clear this is the case because you are both keeping your options open (by keeping the dating profiles), not committing yourselves to the relationship with each other, and not effectively communicating

    So i don't think you can fix the problem because the real problem stems from a lack of true investment in being with each other... if you wanted to be with each other the dating profiles would've gone down, you would have communicated your desires and needs and would commit to being with each other exclusively.

    I think you two probably are better off as friends.


Most Helpful Girl

  • These sound like really small, petty problems. If you two can't get through this little problems, then no this isn't going to work out.

    Leave him alone for a couple of weeks, see what happens. If he contact you again you should make it clear to him that if he ever takes a break from you again then this is over. I don't like breaks, it's a way to distance yourself from someone and NOT deal with the problems at hand. It's a coward's way of dealing with issues.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Often when yu try to transition from friendship to a relationship, the additional pressure is too much for one of the friends to handle.

    Don't get upset, just go back to being friends, at least for now.


What Girls Said 0

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