Did I get played? and How can you tell if a guy is a player?

Anyway i met this guy back in April, I thought he was amazing. Extremely funny, and super sweet. Took me out on expensive dates and went on for about 2-3 months. I actually thought we were going to be together, because of all these gestures and the talk about the future, like he was going to commit. he even showed vulnerability Out of nowhere, he broke it off. The next day I found out, he got into a relationship with someone else... Did I get played by this guy? How can you tell if you a guy is a player?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • it sounds like the guy was seeing someone else along with you. Maybe you were just one last hurrah before he got with the other girl.

    If you slept with him and he left you like that then yes you got played. If he just lead you on and then pulled a disappearing act then he is still being a douche but not as much as if he lead you on, slept with you, then left you hanging.

    Honestly unless you get a straight story from this guy you are never going to know, and Ill bet you money he won't ever come clean. Id stop worrying about it and move on, it will save you head ache and heart ache.

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    • That was pretty much what I was going to write too

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    • Yup, I was completely wrong about him. It's just very ironic because he was the one that said "Good guys exist". I'm not mad at him, but I'm very disappointed. I am moving forward though. If he comes back then it's meant to be but if he doesn't I'm fine with it as well. But thank you so much for giving me insights about my situation

    • Thanks for MHO, sadly guys who go on and on about the whole good guys exist typically aren't good guys. I prefer to show people that that I am a good person. Not talk about it. To be honest words are just that. Actions are what yo have to do in order prove what you say.
      I am sorry that this happened.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You didn't get played.

    You got outplayed by a superior woman.

    He isn't obligated to be with you, especially considering you guys were never actually in a relationship.

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    • I'm not mad at him nor the woman. i'm glad he found someone to be with but outplayed by someone? I don't think so, because if you wanna look at it that way, There were a lot of disadvantages on my side of the game, like this past month was completely hard because it was long distance, i wasn't there to be by his side, to spend that quality time and yes i know he isn't obligated to be with me. but he couldve let me go, the day he left. Why hold on to me when he can't even handle long distance. The reasons he gave me were very unfair. I just wished he would've come clean to me. And only if I knew that I was in a competition with someone else in this thing we call "game", I would've left a long time ago, because if you say to a woman that you want to be with her, there won't be another girl in the picture.

  • Ya I agree with halafax. You didn't really get played. I mean, the guy really got nothing out of doting you with expensive dates so that's not really the m. o. of a player. It's likely he had other girls as well that he was dating then decided to be exclusive with one of them.

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    • And I did tell him that since we weren't really officially in a relationship and he discussed with me about exclusively dating him just 1 month of just dating since I did tell him that since we weren't really officially in a relationship he can see other people. But he said no, he only dates one girl at a time.

    • Plus after 2 and half months he had to move back in with his mom in another state. and he was supposed to move to where I live.

  • The guy is a sumbag that toke advantage of you and helafax is right just forget about him and move on to the next guy. There are no real clear waning signs for scum like that but sometimes if you pay really close attention to him you can tell that he's trying way to hard to make everything look perfect on the out side. But in side his mind is always going cause guys/girls like that it's like playing a game of chess your always trying to say 5 or 6 moves head of your opponent to get what you want. In chess it's the king in life it's sex

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    • Yes, you are absolutely right because i made him aware that I was a virgin... I guess i shouldn't have done that...

    • Well I hope you can move on from this scumbag and see the wisdom of your mistakes and not repeat them

  • How can you tell if a guy is a player?
    He is out of girl's league and expresses interest in her. You must know that men have way lower standards for short term than longeterm realationship and if something seems too good to be true it probably is.

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  • If he f**k u than definitely yes lol

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    • Yup he did so I guess he definitely did hahah thank you!:)

  • maybe the new girlfriend gave him more love than you, and gives him sex while you just sat there for the ride with all his pampering and he probably got fed up with it cause it was taking him nowhere
    girls gotta stop making/expecting guys to do everything cause thats how you lose a guy

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    • I did not just sat there, I actually did a lot for this guy, that's why it hurts... This guy broke it off with an excuse saying He doesn't think he's ready to give the effort a relationship really deserved. and there was an issue present, miscommunication. but what relationship doesn't have that problem. i told him what I wanted so we were on the same page, and that was when I was still ready to let go.
      Anyway we ended things in good terms. and he wanted to be friends with me because he cared so much. Next thing I know, he blocked me on Facebook 3 weeks before it happened, well of course he was hiding something. Someone told me that he's been in a relationship with someone else.

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    • (oops ran out of room) not liking guys who are desperate, taking things slow,
      thats all i can think of right now

    • oh forgot to add, not wanting to be with the guy, being too busy and unavailable, LDR no LTR,

What Girls Said 1

  • I believe that he may have Thought he had Wanted a Real Relationship, wanted a Commitment, but suddenly got Cold duck feet and wandered Quickly back into the murky waters from which he came. He Did show 'Great' initiation, in my book of Etiquette, not treating you like a cheap date, but perhaps as Someone Who Could have been Considered a potential---Mate. However, during actions, speaking, whatever that may have changed his tune during your time spent together, he found that you both didn't have the chemistry he was looking for and found someone else whom he may or may not have.
    Of course, if he got Right back into the saddle after 'Breaking it off' with you, he may have started seeing her on the side. That's not fair, not right, and he really can't be totally trusted until he finds the Right girl.
    Yes, in a sense he was this 'pathetic player,' who really doesn't know what he wants right now. However, I know many a player out there who are Only In it for the sex and the thrill, and Those are the ones who you need to be the most wary of.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thank You so much!:) Yes i did feel he got cold duck feet within the last month, because it was long distance. He currently lives in another state. The chemistry was there when we always hang out together, it was definitely great. So we didn't see each other the last month, and felt like that was when it all happened, because red flags started to show up, deleting me on facebook, getting impatient, texts me less... i could be wrong because he never had the gutt to tell me. I don't think he will ever either. Just thought it was very unfair to me... because he was aware also that I was a virgin..

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    • hahah Yup!:) I just don't think it's necessary for him to know that I am aware that there's another girl:) I am getting over it now though:) and I just want to say thank you so much for the advice!

    • Oh, you're so welcome, sweetie.. Glad I saw this and could be here to save another day... xx

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