Should I defriend my ex on facebook?

I broke up with my ex about three weeks ago. We had a good year long relationship until the last month. We didn't break up over any particular reason but just a build up of small things. Emotionally I was in love with her (admittedly still am) but I lost interest in her physically a few months ago and we had sex less and less often. I know that was huge part of her decision (she didn't admit it though). I'm also going through some personally struggles my career (I'm 32 and she's 25) and I think I took it out on her a little too much. She also wanted more intimacy... which is understandable. However I liked seeing her 2-3 times a week and focusing on my personal life outside of that. So that's it in a nutshell.

We are of course friends on facebook. I have a few pics of her and I (including my profile pic which I changed). I told myself not to worry about something as stupid/childish as Facebook after the breakup so other than changing my profile pic of her and I did nothing. However I find myself tempted to look on her Facebook page. I know it's wrong, but I'm doing it more and more. I know sooner or later she's going to post something about a new bf or something. I want to be strong and not give a shit... however I'm jealous and dreading this moment.

Should I just defriend her? We did leave on friendly terms and part of me does want to see her again. However I don't want to look weak doing this. I'm trying to behave like I don't care. I realize this is immature coming from a 32 year old... but FB can unfortunately be a big deal. I wish she would defriend me... and completely block me out.
Alright this what I decided to do. When I was dating this girl she was working on one of my websites (she's a designer) I offered to pay at the time... but she joked "pay me back with massages". I was going to at least take her out to a nice dinner
for helping me out. The day we broke up I brought up the website (it was halfway finished). She said she would finish it and I offered to pay. She didn't respond.. but after a while she finished it up and sent me an invoice which is fine but she


Most Helpful Girl

  • Just defriend her so you won't keep checking her page. You'll get yourself in a rut like that.

    • yes it is depressing me. Almost like some sort of sick bad habit.

    • I totally understand. It is a habit. Its an obsession and its good that you realize this.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd block them from on every social network and even from my phone contacts.

    • I don't think she's going to reach out to me. I'm more concerned about what I might do. I kinda wish she would block me out of everything.

    • Either way I'd do as I mentioned above :)

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What Girls Said 3

  • If it's just about self control of not looking, why ruin your friendship by defriending? But if it's about something else entirely, then you should probably examine why you broke up with someone you say you still have feelings for.

    • initially I had self control not to look. However I'm getting some delayed emotions from the break up. It took around 2 weeks for it to sink in. I read that the difference between men and women in break ups is that men are more often taken for surprise (although I wasn't completely surprised)... were women see the split coming far sooner. Yes I still have feelings... but there are some underlying problems as well (like me not being that physically attracted to her). I do miss the friendship though.

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    • Thank you for answering my questions. So I guess I'm still stuck on this statement you made "Emotionally I was in love with her (admittedly still am) " So you had an emotional love connection, but you also said she felt she needed more intimacy. In your view, what does intimacy mean to you? Is it physical, emotional or combo of both?

    • after my experience with her I see it's totally both. Best friends may have the emotional love... but without sexual energy I'm not sure if it's "intimacy". I'm not sure how aging couples handle intimacy (or if one partner has a serious problem like a disease or something that prevents sexual relations). If anything I learned the girl has to feel desired on a sexual level to some extent.

  • I am in the same boat. Deffinatly defriend her!

  • Yes delete her.


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