Girlfriend broke up with me and now with another guy?

I was with this girl for a little over 2 years and we had an awesome relationship where we would talk about marriage and kids etc. We were great together and always showing each other love and affection, it was like drowning in love. I would do everything for because she needed guidance due to family issues and education issues. I will admit a year in to the relationship I started to feel for another girl and because I value honesty and communication I told my girlfriend. And of course she was hurt and sad, but I told her I love her and I realize that now. After that I was making amends and just focusing on her. Everything was great and we didn't really get in to arguments. In order to fix her education issue I told her to go live with her brother in North CArolina to focus on school and finally get your GED. She went and while she was in North Carolina she met her friend she knew that was stationed in North CArolina. Long story short.
She kept saying she loved and I can't wait to come back to start our lives and stuff. And then one day out of no where she broke up with me. claims she needed to find herself outside of us and how she needed to focus. We still talked as if we were still together and then she stopped talking to me and then I went a little crazy saying how you with this guy, her friend, and she told me She was dating him and she slept with him. she started crying and how it was a mistake and she doesn't know what she wants. She decides to come back to new York and I tried to talk to her. so we hung out and I was trying to get her back, but then she just became cold out nowhere and is now with this guy. Its like everything I did, Everything we said , and everything she did meant nothing. Need a perspective on this.

And she kept saying how im going to be something in life and how he is going to be nothing and I don't know what I want and she says she is a different person and im not the girl you fell in love with. And she was depressed in NC.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that she did that because you did it the first time. Now, her tears might mean something, but I believe that you two of you might have grown apart since she moved to NC. Do you love her that much to allow her to find another guy, sleep with him, then come back crying, saying that it was a mistake?

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    • Although all that happened I do believe people mistakes and do things on impulse. I do love her a lot. When she came back to New York and we hung out for a bit going back and forth arguing and then she became cold and now with this guy who is also in New York on Vacation. Its like she doesn't care and she is a different person just by looking at her.

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    • What is the psychology behind her actions. Is she just using me as a security blanket, or did she really just move on. And everything she said was a lie.

    • It's really hard to say. From what I read there is a possibility that she could be using you as a security blanket.

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What Girls Said 1

  • oh my... i think she was just tto nervous and scared to loose you since you told her about your lust for another woman

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What Guys Said 1

  • Similar situation happened to me. You will go crazy if you try to analyze each aspect of the relationship and the psychology behind the girls thinking. My opinion, avoid the sob story and look at her actions. SHe slept with this dude and is dating him. That is what she wants those were her actions. She seems selfish, insecure, and immature but that is the choice she made.

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    • Makes sense. But my mind knows all this, but heart is like you love this girl. I'm on 3rd week no contact. Will there ever be reconciliation?

    • Man I thought the saame thing. I wish my ex would have talked to me about her reasons, but she just ended it on the phone, gave me nothing. You just have to take her actions as closer. OF course there are other things you can do to make the closure feel more real. IT sucks, but if the other person does not want to cooperate or be willing to be real with you, there is unfortunately nothing you can do but treat the other with kindness even though you hurt.

    • She was with another guy 2 weeks later, well there is the closure. She gave me some sob story about how she needs to learn to love herself. I was foolish and naive and tried to analyze every aspect of the relationship and what she said. But it will drive you crazy you just have to accept it slowly move on remain no contact unless they contact you and be happy you have family and friends. It may be an important life lesson about how to better treat woman or act during a relationship or what to avoid

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