Is my ex boyfriend trying to keep me around for his ego?

I work with my ex. We broke up 5 months back and within a matter of weeks he was with someone else. I found out through a FB status so deleted him because all the while he had been using me as if we were still a couple while starting a relationship with her.
I am trying to move on but it's been a hard journey because he and I have mutual Facebook friends so I end up seeing all these photos of them. They even moved into a new house together last month which really upset me as I never had the opportunity to live with him due to housemates/tenancy agreement. I decided to block him on fb last week.

I try to avoid him at work but he finds me by asking people about my whereabouts. Then he talks to me about everything but his girlfriend even though I show no interest. He brags about all the new changes in his life. He always initiates conversations and I don't ask him anything or respond to his stories he still tells me. In the end I lost it and told him I'm not happy for him. That I have lost all respect for him after what he did to me but he still keeps talking to me! I even catch him looking at me. Even colleagues have commented on the staring. Sometimes he'll even stroke my hair. In the first few months of his new relationship he would pick at my food and buy me chocolate as if we were still a couple. I stopped phoning him months ago so we have no contact outside of work.

I'm so confused. It's a regular thing and is really stopping me from moving on completely. Why is he acting like we're friends?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You've pretty much answered your own question here, it's an ego trip for him and you need to put a stop to it. It's not fair on his current GF that he's flirting with you in work (I know you prop ably don't care about that but it's true) and it's not fair on you because, like you say it's stopping you from moving on with your life.

    To be honest what your ex is doing is on the fringe of sexual harassment in the workplace in my opinion. The next time he tries something that makes you feel uncomfortable tell him right away and to his face. Even better if in earshot of another colleague. You don't have to get stressed or angry, remain calm and explain that what he's overstepped the line (one he put there don't forget) and it needs to stop now. If it continues I would seriously consider officially reporting it to your manager.

    You don't need a guy like that in your life & I certainly would not give this guy the satisfaction of making me feel uncomfortable in my place of work

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    • Thank you for confirming what I think about the ego thing.
      If he doesn't say or do anything sexual would it still be classed as sexual harassment? He will without fail sit next to me at lunch but doesn't touch me.

      His moods are up and down. If he's not being his usual confident self he'll sit there and withdraw and not talk to anyone all day. It's really hard to keep up with him

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    • Yeah he's not straight forward. He has personal issues such as depression. He's a very complex personality. I think he has a form of narcissism. Will always say he's better than everyone else. When we were a couple he told me that no one dresses as well as him and was surprised that I did. Image is everything for him. But he was low in self esteem regarding his looks and would worry I was losing interest in him because he believed I was much better looking. It was his insecurities that broke us.. Trying to figure him out will drive me nuts so I avoid it as best I can. Hence not looking at Facebook because he's constantly posting something 'positive'. Thanks for the wise words

    • Always happy if I can be some of help. Hope you get some closure on the issue.

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