How can I stop thinking about her or stop checking my phone for a missed call or text message? *Currently crying from the frustration*

An ex-girlfriend & I, both 17 when we got together now we're both 25. We've done a lot of things together, even opened a joint bank account so that we can save & move out on our own, have a family and things of that nature. For the past few years, it's been really rocky, a lot of ups & downs. She has a lot of issues at home with her parents & brothers. We would go a long time without seeing each other simply because we'd always have something new to fight about, which in turn would discourage me from going to her place & being with her & talking to her. In the beginning of our relationship, things were pretty good, but I messed up a lot times where I was caught in lies, such as hanging out with friends when saying I was home or going home from her house or getting caught getting high a few buddies. Many lies. A lot of stupid choices I made, enough for her to doubtful of anything I do or say. Fast forward, I learned from all those mistakes I've made. I no longer have had contact with any of those people I was friends with, I've been clean for a while now. I was let go at the company I worked for many years, I think as many years as I was her (work was outsourced) & have been jobless since then. Last time we hung out as couple was at the end of April, we went to a birthday party for her best friend but since then things have been really bad, we tried to work out & be together but anything that sound suspicious to her, i. e. me taking a little long to respond to her messages, we would instantly get into a huge argument about why she would think I'm lying about something & we broke up. She would ask me on many times before (old break-ups) to leave her alone but I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't leave her alone. We'd be broken up but I wouldn't leave her alone and we'd try again. Now I tried texting her, she is so rude & mean to me. She told me "fuck that day" when I mention our first concert together. I haven't tried looking for her but its hard not to think about her. Help!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like you've known each other and been together for a long time. I'm sorry things haven't been going so well for you two, but from what you tell me, she just wants to move on. Sometimes the mistakes we have made in the past can ruin things for us, which really blows. But if you really love her, let her move on. The countless texts and you trying to continuously reach her just bring her back to times she doesn't want to remember. Everything happens for a reason though, so I think, as hard as it's going to be, you need to let the relationship go. A relationship takes effort from both people involved and if she doesn't want to be in one, then there is no relationship at all. You seem like a really nice guy now, but you need to let her move on. And letting her go will just open up bigger and better opportunities for you, and will allow you to eventually find someone who thinks you're just as spectacular as you think they are.

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