Boyfriend starting dated after going abroad?

I was in a relationship with this guy for 5 years when he went abroad for a job. Things were not at their best at that time but started improving overtime. He was coming back and we were planning to go on a vacation together. But a week before he came his behaviour drastically changed, he cancelled the vacation and was very very distant only to confess that he had been seeing someone for almost 2 months. I blew the top initially but reconciled and told him to break the contact with me completely as every time he talked about this girl, it threw me into some serious depression. He refused to break things up between us citing too long an association and wants us to be friends with no romantic things. I could not bear it and gave him this final choice that if he is seeing that girl, I will not be able to stay in touch, needing my time and space to at least try to move on. I told him I would try to become everything he wanted me to if we get back together. However, he says he wants to give his relationship with this girl a serious try before even considering getting back together and wants us to continue being the best friends we always were. He refuses to stop being in touch with me and refused to stop seeing that girl too. I almost hate him for being so selfish and an insomniac and in a mess.. help!!!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He simply broke up with you and he wants you as a backup plan. No reason to have hope for him. Ignore his calls and contacts and live your life as single. After you heal.. start dating.

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    • Iv had some very very tearful nights over this and he refuses to cut contact. Says he no longer has anything romantic for me and that I should move on too.. and that he cannot break up with this girl at least immediately.. :(

    • I understand.. block his phone number and his email and delete him alltogether. I know its hard when you loved someone.. but he surly doesn't deserve you holding him as a contact.

Most Helpful Girl

  • That's very selfish ! He's not considering your feelings. It's always hard to move on but you def shouldn't continue to be strung along. It will hurt if you keep your hopes up and being a second choice is not fair for you. You should be someone's first choice and there are people out there that will put you first. You should lose all contact with him. It'll hurt , and you'll want to talk to him whenever he hits you up but it'll be easier to move on if you lose all contact with him. Don't let him think he can treat you like that and put you on the side. Maybe you ignoring him will be the reality check he needs

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What Guys Said 1

  • That is extremely selfish. At the very least you could have broken up with you gently and waited to date this other women if he still wanted to remain friends.

    Cut contact with him for your own sake.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Wow! How selfish and ignorant of him
    Cut all contact with him. Actually get another bf or pretend to have one and observe his reaction.

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