I can't forget her and still love her. What to do now?
Most Helpful Guy
Well, you sure put yourself into a tough spot.
First off, I'm sure you know by now that the choice you made was a poor one. Going forward, you certainly know now what is likely to happen if you decide to try that again.
For now, there is nothing - I repeat, NOTHING - you can say to her that will mean anything. You violated THE most basic and important foundation to the relationship. You didn't respect her. How can you possibly love her and want to be with her if you can't even respect her enough to stay faithful, and communicate with her if you're having issues with the relationship? You never even gave her an honest chance to work with you on these issues. That's what she is feeling at this moment.
What you need to do for now is this. Do you have any real reason to contact her? What I mean is, do you have children? If there are kids involved, you'll have to contact her regarding them (things like visitation schedules, appointments, schooling, etc.). Do you two have a lease together, or some other type of mutual business transaction? Do you have property with her, or does she have property with you? If so, you contact each other ONLY regarding these issues, and NOTHING else. If not, you need to cease all contact for at least a month. Not for ANYTHING. No exceptions.
Perhaps after some time has passed, she will at least give you an opportunity to offer a single, sincere, and real apology. An apology where you only acknowledge your own shortcomings, what you did wrong to her, what you learned from that experience, and what you will give an honest effort to do going forward. This is not likely to be enough to win her back, so don't think that's going to happen. But at least you are respecting her enough to own your mistakes, and not blame her or someone else for them. At least it should help reduce some of the bitterness towards you.1