So why is she acting like this? I don’t understand. Where did I go wrong and what can I do to get her back?

My ex-gf dumped me about 3.5 months ago. I became needy. We dated for about 6 months prior. She’s 30. I’m 38. She’s a bit narcissistic, a free spirit and struggling to find her way in the world. I am already set in my career, well grounded and firm in my beliefs. I became a bit critical of her life’s decisions whenever she’d inform me of planned choices that were counterproductive to her success. She ultimately became annoyed and accused me of being non-supportive and unloving, before asking for space. At this point, she began distancing herself. I became clingy and struggled trying to fix things for about month before she officially broke up with me. Over the next couple months due to her push-pull tactics, I became needy and mentally broken. I even bought “get your ex back” programs to try to figure things out. They all suggested using Facebook to my advantage. I gave it a try and messaged her asking if we could at least be friends on social media. Within 5 minutes, she sent me a friend request (I suspect to just keep tabs on me). She posted outings with her friends, tagged in the photos. She also posted outings at other places where she didn’t tag any friends, obviously leaving the impression that she was on a date. I did the same. We were friends on social media for about a week, before I went on a trip with a couple of friends. I posted pictures, some of which included me conversing and dancing with other women. I noticed she’d been checking my profile throughout the day. But by the end of the night and after I posted a photo of me dancing with another woman along with the comment “Made a new friend or 2. Good times. It all works!”, I soon after noticed that she unfriended without a word. I thought this would show her that I’ve accepted what is and have moved on. I actually recall her saying before that thats what she wanted. So why is she acting like this? I don’t understand. Where did I go wrong and what can I do to get her back?
Perhaps, but what would be the best course of action to get her back?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah that's kinda tricky. Okay I think she is still trying to move on from you though still... I think those pics might've made her a little jealous or upset that you were moving on like that. I mean it's one thing for a girl to post pics like that and guys will just brush it off. But for a guy to post things like that it can come across as a little rude and hurtful (girl's have a bunch for feelings and emotions and we will basically try to analyze everything). Maybe write to her apologizing for uploading the pics and see what she says? Forget about getting her back - move on and find a girl that loves you completely without playing these weird fb games.

    • I don’t think apologizing at this point would be the solution as I’ve done so many times in the past. She told me to move on and threw me a bone on Facebook to keep in touch, likely thinking that I couldn’t get over her while she is clearly doing so with me. She has given me opportunities in the past to reconcile, but her push-pull tactics confused me and caused me to lose control of emotions and push her further away. At this point whatever I do going to have to be based on actions. I know she won’t take my calls or respond to my texts at this point, but every now and then when contacts me, she say or do something to give me hope. But I can’t screw up any more. I’ve got to play it right or risk losing her forever. I know she still cares, but just doesn’t trust me. How can I change that?

    • Give it time and maybe talk to her in a few months to see how things are going. But move on for the time being. Again, right now all you can do is GIVE IT TIME and see how things play out.

    • I can give it time. But in all honesty, I don’t know how people wait months, then try their luck. I seriously I’d care after a few months of NC. I know she won’t lol. Out of sight, out of mind.

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What Girls Said 2

  • She thinks that she still has you wrapped around her finger but the fact that you are even able to talk to other women let alone dance with them shows that she doesn't which deals quite a big blow to her ego if she is a narcissist like you say. Best advice, leave it alone you're better off without her

    • Perhaps, but what would be the best course of action to get her back?

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    • To On make en you do on exactly what you are doing now, she is making you doubt yourself and her feelings for you honestly I can't advise you on how to gget her back anymore. I'm sorry but in my opinion you seem like a nice guy and you deserve a nice girl who won't mess with your head this much but if it is meant to be between you two then fair enough I wish you all the best and if it isn't then I just hope you'll find out in time

    • I think you answered it perfectly. And on some level in just the way I need know. Thank you.

  • It's a tough situation that you are in right now and I think the pictures you posted made her jealous

    • Perhaps... or perhaps just a blow to her ego. Any ideas on getting her back?

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