What is he really saying? Real reason or excuse?

My boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. we seemed so good together. i really thought he was "the one". Now my heart is crushed. i knew he had been talking to his friend who is a girl and that they were really close. He said that they had nothing like that going on, that she was more of a sister figure to him. He said that he wasn't ready for a girlfriend, that i deserved better, and that he thought we would be better as friends. Is that his real reasons, or just excuses to breakup, or was he really interested in her in more than a friend/sister way?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I will take an optimistic view, perhaps naive, but perhaps from a different perspective. You must remember that we are all wired a little bit differently. We are products of nature and nurture - and often times, we act, or react, in what we perceive our best interests to be. This can be a very different thing from what is actually in our best interests. Sometimes, the "dark", or "cut and run" feels familiar, and even though it's not the best route to take, it's what people choose to do because it lets them feel in control, and not as vulnerable. Whether or not he is interested in someone else is beyond your control. What you can control is your side of the dialog, and how you choose to react to his actions and words. What I would suggest, is give things a few days to settle down. Don't text, don't call. I wish I knew the "right" amount of time, because frankly, I'm going through something similar (feel free to click my name to view my post... I would welcome all perspectives!) But time sometimes helps to clarify things, and time apart can often be a good thing, especially if there was no major conflicts within your relationship. For argument sake, let's say a week of no contact. At that point, if he hasn't reached out to you, reach out to him. See how he's doing, and perhaps suggest meeting up someplace quiet, like a park, or go for a walk, and discuss the matter in an open atmosphere. If you approach it from the position of wanting knowledge, and looking out for yours and his best interests, you can often gain insight that the present doesn't always afford us.

    Most importantly, post back here as to what happens! Fingers crossed for you

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What Guys Said 3

  • There is absolutely no way of knowing the answer to that. Please don't torture yourself by trying to find the absolute truth in this situation because given the information you have you cannot.

    If you really are curious about the "real" reason ask him yourself and tell him not to worry about sparing your feelings. Good or bad you want to know the truth as to why he ended it while you felt good about the relationship.

    Ask him for the whole truth in honest, genuine way and accept any answer he gives you so you can begin the process of moving on.

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  • he probably realized he likes her more now and wants to be with her. wait maybe 1 month and see if they're together or not.

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  • Probably interested in her more than a friendship way.

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What Girls Said 2

  • We'll never know. The only way to know for sure is to ask him if he's lying, and i don't know if that would end well, nor do i think its worth it because the relationship is already over.

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    • i've asked him before and he got real defensive and changed the subject... that is what started my suspicions

    • Then he might be lying. I wouldn't go looking for answers, especially if he's already getting defensive. Spend your time else where.

  • If he was interested you that much he wouldn't have left you because he's not ready. He's not that into you. I no it sounds horrible the way I've put it but it will be easier for you to move on if you hear the truth

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