Is there any chance to get him back?

I imagine this question was asked a million times by any girl or guy who had his/her heart broken. But as any person in that situation, I feel like I need to tell my story in order to have the best or most realistic answer.

We were together for an year and a half, lived together one year. I have always said that i am difficult when it comes to dating me because I am very impulsive - so yes we fought but not more than any normal couple, lets just say I might have crossed the line maybe a little bit more than I should. Anyways, 2 months ago, we broke up ( we weren't in the same country at that time) because i did let my emotions get the best of me and exploded while he was on vacation in brazil with his best friend. To him it was the last straw.
I saw him for the first time a few days ago - i wanted to talk about our break up and ask for a second chance; my offer was simple, I wasn't asking him to take me back immediately but i wanted him to spend time with me in order for me to show him that I can change and not make the same mistake again. He said no, claiming that his objectives have changed (he wants to reconnect with his parents, see his friends and just not be in a relationship were you have some rules or things you need to do). When I asked him if he still loved me even a little, he did not want to say it out loud but finally said with tears in his eyes that he doesn't. Yet he still wants to be in my life and I could see that it wasn't easy for him.

So yes to some I might seem desperate (the guy said no, get over it), but I still do not get or even believe how he can feel nothing after only 2 months - is there any chance, that he does or that I could get him back eventually, if I play my cards right? If so, should I be seeing him now (almost like acting accordingly to my plan where I would prove that i can change)?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • NO NO NO…. he doesn't want to be with you (he might still love you but is not in love with you) he prob isn't over you completely but working on it. He prob told you he doesn't love you because you want him back so much and if he told you he wasn't 100% over you than you would pursue him even more which is not what he wants. He wants to be over you…. he wants to work on himself. You need to take his lead and work on yourself. How have you changed? anyone can say it, but what actions have you taken? Work on you impulsive needs. Be a better person for yourself and if you guys were meant to be than you will end up back together. After you work on yourself you will prob find a better match. People are attracted to people who take care of themselves, so take care of yourself mentally and physically.

    When breakups happen there is the push and the pull. The more you push someone away the more they will try to pull you in and vice versa. Plus even as adults if something comes to easy to us…we tend to undervalue it. Also, you broke up with him. I know you are impulsive but you should have thought about what it would be like to lose him before you said the words. Learn from your mistakes. But remember this…the more you pursue him (pull him to you), the more he will pull away from you. Give him time and space…. if he wants you back he will pursue you. PS…. he has feelings too…maybe you breaking up with him was hard and he doesn't want to be dragged though the mud again.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Maybe if you took a concerted effort to stop making lame excuses about your behavior and worked on your insecurities and demonstrated that you have made an effort to change to him - he might reconsider. Otherwise, nope.

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  • Show him utmost care and stop overreacting. Maybe, he might feel more comfortable and closer and come back to you.

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