I was once engaged to this guy I spent 5 years chasing after and falling deeper and deeper in love with. I was finishing up my senior year and out of the blue he ends the relationship and tells me I needed to focus on my schooling. I was devastated but as time went on I began to accept the fact we weren't meant to be together. A couple month went by without any contact whatsoever and for once in a longtime I was happy! My best friend told me one day that my ex was expecting a baby with some girl that he could careless about. Of course my wall I built shattered and now I'm right back to where I was seven months ago. And if things couldn't have gotten any worse for me he text me a couple days later wanting to friends again. He doesn't know I know about the baby. I can understand why he would reach out to me after all this time but I don't know if I can emotionally/physically be his friend right now. A selfish part of me wants that baby to be mine and as long as I've known this guy he knows that too. I mean we had plans together! I can't change the fact that he messed around with someone that's just another girl to him. I can't change anything. I'm so messed up. The scary thing is how easy it would be to go back to him and allow myself to get hurt all over again. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to be there for him like I promised so many times before, but I don't know how without my sneaky heart getting caught between the lies and all his baggage. I can say I'm over him all I want but I'm in love with him and I'm beginning to think I'm never going to be able to move on.
I don't know what to feel anymore. Help?
What Guys Said 1
This is a pivotal moment in your life when you decide to take the reigns and make a selfish maneuver to dodge this trap. I don't blame you for feeling what you're feeling, but you're overwhelmed with emotions right now. That's never the best time to make sound, rational decisions that make sense for you and your life going forward.
What I'm recommending is that you tell him "thanks for your offer, but I've moved on". That's it. You owe him nothing for leaving you. That's what is best for you. Bringing him back into your life will only begin a fresh cycle where you get hurt in the end. Don't give him that chance.
You chased after him, correct? It's a shame you can't do the same towards another guy who at the very least could help you move on and close this chapter in your life. Forget the plans. Forget the fairy tale ending. Life happens and he's the culprit for this heartbreak. Ditch him. The plans have changed. The sooner you take the first step in a completely new direction, the better. You'll find a great guy. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and it WILL happen if once you get rid of him forever.
If that's not convincing enough, think of it this way. He got a girl pregnant and he's trying to sweep it under the rug. He's a POS that's responsible for yet another single mother in this world. Tell me you have spine and you won't forgive him for that? Tell me you won't forgive him for leaving you to fool around with other girls? Are you really willing to keep this pig on a pedestal?0
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