Friends for three years. He kept asking me out, I kept turning him down, finally I snapped and accepted. Dated for four months. He was always busy but we both tried. He broke up with me because he was way too busy (it wasn't an excuse. I saw how tired he was). He was acting distant, I asked if we should break up BUT told him I didn't want to. His reply? I think so.
Acted cold to all of us at work (I work with him). I told him that I missed him in person, he said "okay". Texted him how I felt. No response. Next day, I avoided him. He saw me and had a huge smile. Friend tutored me at a table, ex showed and sat with us (ex usually sits at that table). He kept smiling and laughing at everything I said. Waited until everyone was gone before giving me a b-day gift. Kept the sticky note I gave him when we were crushing, telling him to have a horrible day without me.
Summer school - Acted weird. Wouldn't look at me in the eyes. Would say hi and another thing and then get quiet. Would mumble and had a sad tone. Would catch him glancing a few times.
Recently: I asked him what would he do if I avoided him (I know, stupid question)
Here:"Me: How would you feel if I avoided you?
Him: With my hands.
Me: That doesn't make sense.
Him: I believe your decisions are up to you, not to me.
Me: I was just wondering. I won't actually do it.
Him: I don't care either way "
Last note: My friend asked him (without my permission) on my birthday how he felt about me. Ex said he had to go even though they were talking for a while. (Ex also stayed after school on my birthday in our area, something he never did except when we were dating).
Friend: You still have feelings for her (me)?
Ex: (Hands deep in pocket, huge smile) Of course I still love my mother!
Friend: No seriously, do you still like her (me)?
Ex: I feel this question, bye!
Most Helpful Guy
I have read the responses and it seems clear to me that he is looking for signs. This dancing around the subject seems to be both he and yourself dancing around mutual interest in each other, but both staying guarded and walking on eggshells.
Perhaps he, yourself, or both of you have a helplessly romantic view of life, and are awaiting a time place and occasion when feeling become easily shared. Unfortunately, life in modern times is seldom as easy and quick as the 2 hour cinema.
It seems to be a situation where he doesn't have a clear idea how this works. Thankfully in the modern era, women are no longer tied to waiting helplessly by the phone and hoping "the one" will call. Now you can pick up the phone and call as well.
Ask him to accompany you on something relatively harmless. I recommend shopping, or to a movie, or to a matinee, or some low pressure social occasion. Don't come armed with pointed questions. Learn the male language... compliment and use "we" and "us" .. Many women talk to males as they do the female friends and it doesn't turn out well.
Many guys don't like to focus on "feelings" as much as simply enjoying each other's company. I think if you give him a large dose of fun together, you will be able to determine how he truly feels without asking him.
Try it and see...11
Most Helpful Girl
For Three years, you both have been friends, and I don't imagine it was as 'Weird' as when you Both had started dating... With this, I mean his uncanny, distant behavior now. I------Feel this.
Ever since you had dated, he hasn't been this 'Friend' in the same way. Maybe he felt after the fact that it was Awkward, breaking it off with his 'Busy' excuse, which you said you bought and believed. But he thought it best anyway...'I think so...'
Perhaps he Still has feelings for his Ex, and still hasn't gotten over her. One thing is for sure, he doesn't want to talk to your friend about you. He may have these 'Hidden feelings' for you, as well, Combined with the ones he may still have with his Ex. But being this Cold fish, he is not only the 'Busy serious type,' he is this sort of guy who keeps his heart at arm's length. May be 'Very Confusing,' but not so hard to figure out...
Remain his friend... business as usual...
Good luck. xx2
- Show AllShow Less