Should I leave my husband or stick it out with him?

We have been married for 6 years. We have 2 children together. I am miserably unhappy and am finding my self thinking about other men. I love my husband, but not in the same way anymore. There is little passion between us and when we do have sex, I'm trying to think about other men just to get me through. I don't want to break up my family, but I can't live this way anymore and I'm afraid that I'm going to end up making a huge mistake with someone else. Our 2 children have mild autism and I worry about them as well. It wouldn't be so bad if I got help with them, which I don't. What should I do? I feel so selfish! Should I try to make myself happy and leave or should I stick with him and suffer for the kids?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you leave him I can promise you that one of those awesome guy types that you think about may be your husband and you will have the same conversation with yourself years from now about them. Have you ever thought that maybe he too is unhappy is "suffering" for the kids. Can you remember that whole "till death do you part" thing. That wasn't a line in a movie, that was a sacred vow. Tell him what's up. Don't just come out and say you don't love him. Tell him the core reason why you are unhappy but do it in a way that you would want to be told. Still do not hold back, say it all but totally respectfully. Is he not enough for you, has he changed, has life just become to hard, what is it?

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    • He has changed a lot. I married someone else, literally. He did things I liked and was the kind of person that I like. After we got married he changed within a year, almost like he couldn't hide who he really was anymore.

    • What did he do then that he now doesn't do? Do you mean like back then it was like "Can I take you out tonight for some fun" and now it's just " let's put the kids to bed so we can have sex". Or, is he mean, unloving and such?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Are you referring to your non existent husband?

    KatyKat
    Single
    Tomboy
    United States

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What Guys Said 4

  • I guess you should be asking why are you unhappy? Why is there little passion? What is your husband not doing or rather is there anything you are not doing that is making him unhappy? Don't think about other men when your having sex, that's bad to say the least. Any guy would obviously be insulted if he knew. You really need to talk to him bout this.

    -Oh and when my mouse pointer passes by your icon, it says your single... a single tomboy.

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    • I didn't know it said that I was single. Sorry about that.

    • lol! It could be worse, it could say you're a guy.

    • WOAH!!!

      "He has changed a lot. I married someone else, literally. He did things I liked and was the kind of person that I like. After we got married he changed within a year, almost like he couldn't hide who he really was anymore."

      Don't you think that is different from what you said in your question? Are you with 2 men or something?

  • Sticking it out is always preferable. Didn't you make a promise like that when you got married?

    I don't think someone should be forced to stay in a marriage if they are totally miserable. But I think divorce should not be taken lightly. It should be a last resort after everything else has been tried. Have you really considered and tried all options? Have you done it seriously? Is there anything else you haven't tried yet? Those are not questions you need to answer here. They are questions you have to answer yourself, and be 100% honest with yourself.

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  • "suffer for the kids?"

    You should stay for the kids sake. maybe once they reach adulthood you could leave. but they need you now.

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  • I totally disagree with all the people who are saying to tough it out for the kids. You need to be selfish in this regard, this is your life that you're speaking about and you only get one.

    I'd recommend that you try to fix things. Talk about your problems, let him talk about his problems, then you both need to agree to give each other a clean slate and really make an effort to make each other happy. It is of great importance that you don't start bringing up old issues if/when you clash during this period, or it will all be for nothing.

    If attempting to fix this as a team doesn't work, then you should probably consider leaving. When you get to this point, I think it would be a good idea to give him another chance, explaining what you're considering and why you're considering it. This could really push him into line, but if you still don't see any effort from him, it might be time to leave. It's your life, live it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm curious what you think happened to change the way you feel about him?

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