Ladies: should I be concerned about my gf?

I went on my ex's computer to do work and I saw that she was looking up her ex on facebook. They broke up over a year ago. She left him and we dated about a week after. I got curious and looked at her email. She messaged him about 2 months ago. It doesn't seem like they've talked since but should I be worried? The message was her apologizing for something. She didn't apologize for the break up or anything, but it was really a heart felt message.
Updates:
I meant I went on my gfs computer and saw she was talking to her ex.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't ask, and do not worry. Girls go over this stuff in their heads, but very rarely is the heartfelt stuff combined with actual action (at least I think from my own psychology). I've gotten into sad moods and written apologetic letters to burned out past relationships, but really had no interest in speaking to or seeing those dudes again. The flirty, happy, playful feelings are the ones you want to watch out for, not the sad nostalgic ones.

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    • Is it okay that she said she would call him after he responded?

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What Girls Said 6

  • Maybe she felt she had some unfinished business to take care of, which she probably should have shared with you, because now it look suspicious.

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    • Unfinished business? Like what?

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    • Well things did end badly but that was over a year ago. She did apologize but it had nothing to do with the break up. She told me they haven't spoken for almost 8 months prior to this message. It's just weird that she randomly messages him

    • You should ask her about it.

  • You started off by saying you went on your ex's computer. If she is your ex why does any of this matter?

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    • I meant I went on my gfs computer and saw she was talking to her ex

  • I don't think you have to worry. I wrote a very heart felt message to an ex whom I Do still Ha e slight feelings for. I don't love him and I certainly don't want to be with him ever again, but we had something very special, very different to the wonderfully amazing special I have now, but still special. He was going through a really tough time so I sent him the message to let him know that he was a good person. If your gf ex was a nice guy, and she really did do something to hurt him which she regrets, I think it's perfectly reasonable for her to have messaged him. With no contact since I'd just leave it. Don't tell her you looked either.

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    • Is it okay that she said she would call him after he responded?

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    • Thanks. But it just seems weird that they haven't talked all this time and she just randomly contacts him. I can understand the one being dumped to be the one initiating contact but the dumper? When she's in a long term relationship?

    • Yeah, it does seem like she's been thinking about him or her actions. are you both happy in the relationship?

  • I agree with dreamingincake. They broke up and your relationship followed quickly. She probably needed time to have real closure which this message sounds like.

    I don't think there is anything to worry about. Them really keeping in touch would be worrisome but idk, people have different policies about exes.. Just ask her if you are concerned. You don't have to (and shouldn't) confess having seen the message, you can ask her how she feels about her ex and breakup now that over a year has passed. If there is nothing there, she should be able to discuss it with you.

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    • Is it okay that she said she would call him after he responded?

    • Calling him means they talked further about what they did via message. I'd say if it was just that, again, nothing to worry about.

      But obviously you ARE worried already when opinions are telling you there is no reason to be.
      So maybe the question is not so much about whether something might be going on with her ex but about how your relationship is doing. You shouldn't doubt it so easily.

      You might want to have a conversation about all that if it has become a real concern to you which your GF should be there to reassure you about.

  • just be straightforward and ask her if she still has feelings for her ex

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  • ask her directly if there is anything u have 2 worry about...

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