A year, no progress, what next?

Fell in love with my friend. I kinda knew before hand it wouldn't work because of all the good looking guys she had dated before me. But she was just so cute, i loved being with her and she's hell of a beautiful girl. I slowly got a crush for her and before i knew it she was the only one i found attractive. I was very surprized when she started flirting with me and there was nothing i could do but just fall for her.
Once we got together it was touch and go not because we got mad at each other but because we were scared. she was scared to loose me as a friend, and she had commitment issues because of an ex. I was afraid of loosing her as a friend too but i also knew i also knew i would take it hard when she broke up with me.

It went on like this for about a year and a half, we would hang out get close and then break apart. Towards the end she grew a little cold on me and the last break up she was really cruel.

After a year im still thinking of her, im still only attracted to her and i find myself in a spot were i can't move on. When i do go on a date ill end up thinking of my ex the whole time and ill think of her a lot more than i already do for the next few days after.

I really dont think ill ever be with her again, but im not making any progress getting over her. she's still that first thought in the morning and im getting tired of not seeing any end to it or any progress with getting over her. I'de like to call her or something but i know she doesn't want to hear from me. I dont have a chance of running into her since I've moved away.

Guess my question is what do i do now, do i keep trying to date others even though it feels like im making it worse when i do.
Should i Just let more time pass.
Should i ask some friends we share about how she's doing, should i see if she might want to talk again.

Any help, thanks


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  • You've lost someone you care for and someone you share a bit of history with. Like anyone who loses someone close you will have to endure a period of grieving for your loss as you adapt to this change in your social life. Give yourself some days to weeks to grieve, but not too long.

    You can bear this separation anxiety by keeping busy. Now is the time to catch up on your reading or movies you've missed, or take up a new interest, a sight-seeing trip, or a study course. Learn to meditate, maintain an exercise program, and get plenty of sleep. You can express your grief to a sympathetic friend or relative (but not so much to burden them) and talk it out. Your blues won't last forever. You probably have several other girlfriends, yet unknown, ahead of you.

    Slowly transition yourself back into normality by going out with friends or dating others who appeal to you. When you can do so without feeling too awkward, look for other attractive girls to date, but do not babble to new girls about your former love, of course.

    So to summarize, allow yourself a period of grief, keep busy, stay healthy, and find another girlfriend. Don't make yourself boring. You are not on the planet to suffer. This episode will grow smaller and mean less as it fades into the past.


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