Because of his religion should it be over for good?

My bf of 9 months just dumped me. We were Absolutly head over heels in love. He comes from a super strong Christian background but when he was in his early 20's pretty much split away from the church. His fam is super religous still and recently have been attempting to bring him back to the church. The past month he became distant because he was so torn on what to do. He is very about loyalty to fam and was struggling w the fact that they would dis-own him if he didn't come back. He's almost 30 and says he had been thinking of one day trying church again and so because of the pressure of losing his fam, he has decided he really wants to make a good hard effort now. Because I am not of the same faith, he said he had to end it. His family would never accept him marrying a girl not a part of their church. He said he still wants to stay friends because as bf/gf we are also each other's best friends. My bday is in 1 1/2 months and he says he wants to still get me something and I asked and he agreed maybe hang out if we are ready. Till then I'm going to back off and let us both heal for a while first, but do you think down the road maybe we could work on things once he feels more like he has a grasp on this? I've even been considering maybe converting if in a few months I'm still not over him. I don't know how to go about bringing that idea up as well. Has anyone else ever gone through this and had it work out, or is it pretty much, if it's about religion, it's over?

Also an update: even since we broke up we have still snapchatted every day, even saying good night. It's like what we used to text, only over snap and not w any kisses. Makes me think he didn't really want the break up...

Updates:
I wouldn't just convert for him. I would try and go to church and see if it was for me. If it was, I would be ok switching because I have zero attachment to Catholicism which I was born into. Also We have similar beliefs in choosing to please our fam

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Religion is a touchy subject. But the fact that his family are the religious ones and not so much him make it pretty sad. He's 30 years old if he's allowing his life to be manipulated by his family you may need to consider the fact that regardless of how much you may love each other if you do end up together you may find yourself very unhappy if his family controls his life. Don't convert for him. convert if n only if you believe in the religion. Personally I believe if the love is strong enough family religion race creed, colour or anyone's opinion or input should not matter. Especially when we're talking about an adult...
    I'm a religious man. And I'd love to meet a girl of the same religion. It would things a lot easier. But if the women of my dreams comes along and she isn't of the same religion well so be it. As long as she respects my religion that's all I ask for...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's not being true to himself, and he's going to end up feeling really shi**y later on in life, when he realizes that he sold out to make someone else happy, even if it is his fam. You supported him for who he wanted to be, and he may come to realize this and want to come back to you, but don't wait around for him. This just shows that he can be bought, and I couldn't trust someone like that.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Leave him. He will realise his mistake one day, whether it is too late or not. In the mean time, you should cut off contact and move on. Don't give him the best of both worlds where he can have his church/family and you at the same time, that is the only way he will realise his mistake.

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  • Well if you convert the relationship may workout, however, you will be living a lie, pretending on a daily basis to be something you are not.

    Is it really worth it, only you can decide that since it's your life?

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  • I wish i could help here hun. I also was dumped recently due to religious differences... after 2 freakin years. So it must b a pretty touchy subject. :/ Sorry to hear that you're goin through it all.

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What Girls Said 1

  • he did want the break up cause he already left you come on be realistic he is only feeling guilty thats why he is checking on you he choose his family over you he should at least tried to fight for you i say moove on and let it go

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