We've been living together for 4 yrs. I'm 41 he's 44. I just caught him talking to several women on dating sites. It doesn't seem as if he's met any in person yet but it looks like he wants to try to meet one or more of them in the near future. Some of the things he was saying he wants in a relationship are thing I already give him. Once I confronted him about it he got furious with me. I am still I'm complete shock and although I am leaving our home I am just numb right now and haven't the slightest clue as to what I'm going to do now. He is always saying that I don't do this good enough or I didn't do that right but he's basically looking for someone exactly like me. His friends and family think I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him but apparently he doesn't share their opinion. I'm just so confused as to why he wants someone who is just like me why isn't he content with the fact that he already has what he's looking for? I'm just so confused and brokenhearted and I don't know how to make any sense of any of this.
Most Helpful Guy
I am so sorry to hear this. He has lost sight of what he has. He hasn't appreciated the gift he has.
It's easy to forget all the time and things that have gone into a relationship. Thinking the grass is greener over there.
You have to decide if this is worth working on and salvaging. He has to be fully committed to his part too. A long open honest discussion must happen. You might even have to seek professional help.
I am not excusing his behavior, but there must be a reason behind it. You both have to talk openly and honestly and listen to what the other says. He hasn't told you what is wrong in his eyes fairly. You don't just bash your partner and tell them all their short comings. He needs to learn how to express properly to you what he wants and needs, as do you. Then work on making each other happy together.
If you want it to work and he does to, it will be hard and take a lot, but it can be done.
If he won't step to the plate fully, you will only drag out your pain and heartache.
I wish you luck. If I can help in any other way, please reach out.0
Most Helpful Girl
Maybe he likes what he has with you but is no longer in love with YOU...
Maybe he wants the same thing but with someone new who excites him again.
I know... sounds stupid, but it's true. Men can't compromise (if they can it's very rarely) and they think they have soooooo much time to find the perfection they're looking for, but they'll just end up sad and alone.
All in all - he's a jackass who doesn't deserve you or the things you do for him!0