Caught him cheating and now I'm dealing with my first broken heart. Help!?

Recently I discovered my EX-boyfriend had another girl friend besides me. All the days he was ignoring me he was out with her, and buying her things, and kissing her. His excuse to me was that in order to make sure he wanted me he needed to date around and try out other girls. Mind you, we were going out for 8 months now and I was very deeply in love with him. He was my first boyfriend and he really messed me up. Now I just don't know what to do. Of course I left that little shit head but I just feel really unsure of my love life. At this point the idea of finding an even better guy who can really show me what being loved feels like, excites me but I just can't seem to find any hope that that will happen! My heart is torn in two and honestly I can't even imagining giving it out to a whole new guy. I'm sure that these are normal feelings for someone going through this type of situation but I feel hopeless. What do I do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Same thing happened to me and it bothered me for 2 years. Try to find something to do to take your mind off it. I started to weight lift to make my ex regret cheating on me because I'm more attractive than her current boyfriend. But honestly, only time will heal this as it won't be easy. This happens to everybody who gets out of their first relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nothing you really can do in these situations but surround yourself with your best girlfriends and try and get your mind off of this.

    You my dear, have suffered a double whammy asshole - he knew he was your first and he was not faithful...

    Getting over a first heartbreak is hard enough as is but for the reason behind it to be unfaithfulness - that is over the top and you really just need to take your time and move on. Heartbreaks heal only in time and while time seems to be doing a very slow job at mending your heart break and you may just feel like "firing" time at point - just to take care of it on your own... Truth is, time is the only thing that can heal your heart.

    Call the ladies, have a pizza and movie night, go out for drinks with girlfriends and learn to smile again.

    You deserve that.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Psychologists recommend that one should at-least wait around two years, before jumping on to a next relationship, you have to be emotionally healed. So the best way to be healed is Travel! Travel! Travel. Overseas is recommended but within your country is also helpful.

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    • I agree with this comment. Something similar happened with me, though circumstances are very different.

      It took me about a year and a half to get over her completely.

      Engage your mind into a subject, engage your body at the gym. Think less about the situation, it doesn't help recovery.

  • What a fuckin idiot! Anyway, thats life. Maybe he will cheat on, maybe YOU will chat on your partner. Cry yourself out for some time and then move on. I have been through the same shit.

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  • what he says does have some merit. Guys need to 'play the field' before they can settle down. This takes longer for some guys than others. But it has nothing to do with you: he was not ready. Women are incapable of making a guy ready - no matter how attractive or 'perfect' they may be for each other, a women can not make a man ready for a serious commitment any more than a man can make a woman want a friends with benefits relationship. It's our 'biological clock'. Trying to change it and blaming yourself for failing is unproductive. Stop.

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  • Well as a guy a broken heart only lasts about a month for me particularly. The pain will go away and you will recover. Hang out with friends the pain peaks when your alone cause your not stimulating yourself. Dont trust for a while let that come slowly. I'm good at dealing with broken hearts and have too much expierence.

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What Girls Said 1

  • The best thing to do is this situation is honestly just talk it out. The more you talk it out, the more closure you get, the better. But ultimately, only time is gonna heal your wounds. So deeply sorry to hear about that though. You deserve so much better. Best of luck to you. Keep your head up in your difficult in this difficult time lovely. xoxo Im here to talk if you need me!

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