I wanted to tell him but I couldn't tell him?

This guy and I have known each other for five years. I felt automatic attraction when I first met him and my biggest regret is that I never questioned what my feelings meant regardless if I had a boyfriend or not. I wish I did because after all these years I still feel something but it's an undefined feeling. My life has has it's ups and downs nothing too dramatic it's been fine or so I believed until out of nowhere in a split second what felt like my heart shutting down came in all these feelings I've been feeling for all these years except this time it's much more intense. I am so confused I feel lost. Please don't tell me to tell him because I can't for a million reasons. I almost admitted it when I was texting him yesterday but I couldn't admit it. We're both with someone else and are we both against cheaters because we've both experienced the heartache of being cheated on before we ended up with who we are with now. I'm also a believer in taking certain risks to find out if the feeling is mutual and if your actually meant to be together. I swear I would take that chance but his opinion of me means everything to me regardless how many years we've known eachother I don't want him to ever look at me like as the bad girl type when that isn't who I am. I've never felt like this before.

I just need you all to tell me how to make these feelings disappear for good.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I had someone I was extremely attracted to many years back. She was 10 years younger than me, and I was worried about the age difference. But we would meet all the time, talk all the time, and once we were even in my apartment talking on my bed. I so wanted to tell her that I wanted her, but I thought she would never go for a guy my age. Well, just last year, I found out my wife was cheating on me. Of course, I felt comfortable talking to her. She had been through a tough time with her husband for a while too, and dealt with cancer and beat it. Well, I was upset, and I let it out. That I had always thought we might end up together, and if I had tried to be with her that night in the bed, what would she have done? Well, she said we would have had sex and it would have been awesome, in her thoughts. She always wondered the same thing as me. Nothing ventured. Nothing gained. Is he worth taking a shot? You will never know unless you try. No one can tell you to. You have to decide that yourself. When you close your eyes, who do you think about more? Your bf? Or him?

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    • wow that's intense. I really don't even know I mean what does everything I feel for this guy really mean? Since 2010 he's been on my mind in many different ways. What's the definition for how I feel?

    • If he is always on your mind in every way? Love. :)
      Go for it. If you never ask, you will never have him. If you ask, at least there is that chance. You obviously like this guy.

    • I don't think it's possible that its love. Mainly just attracted to the mystery in him I mean we have things in common we recently realized that we kinda think alike but I don't know if he knows that. Or maybe its sexual tension towards him

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  • Just straight up talk to him and be honest.

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