How will I confront my ex?

My ex of almost two years broke up with me last month during long distance, because I! think! she didn't know what she wanted..

Long story short, someone I trust called, told me that it is sure that she hooked up with some guy, after she broke up within a week I guess.. before when there was just rumors about it that i wouldn't believe, I had to ask her and she denied that she did (I wasn't stalking, but people cared to tell me so i can find a reason to move on), I just told her that I need to know the reasons and if this was true so i can move on, and she is telling me to move on cause its not fair on me to wait for her to decide if she wants this relationship (which makes me look like a puss)

I don't think she would even tell me if she did it.

But now that am sure of it... how will or what to say when I confront her if she texts me whether asking indirectly for reconciliation or fixing things?
Specially after this stabbing news... and that I want to know the real reasons she dumped me for?


I consider it as betrayal, am not looking for reconciliation at all cause I only see her as a lover, it just seems am still blinded with my love for her !

I know I sound gay, but I'am really heartbroken, but as much as this hurting me, I want a way out of this pain !
I was more attached and in love with her.
I know i should ignore and move on, but its easy to say, I think it would make it easier for me to, if I confront her if she texts one day, that the convo might not end as she will be defensive about everything.

I don't want to be rude, nor nice, nor an asshole.. I just want to let things out.. that I don't know what they are into getting the truth from her about everything so i can close that case, move on, forgive and be happy !
(I do believe in second chances but for now I don't know if I do)
Hooked up > as in kissed... as far as I know and what was told


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  • There's a few things to consider here:

    1. You are making the assumption that the will call/text you to reconnect. If she doesn't, then all your worrying is for nothing.

    2. If she doesn't call/text you, are you going beg for her back? If not, then forget about it. If so, then you must accept the possibility that she slept with someone else after your breakup. If you want her back, but cannot accept that she slept with another man, then don't bother calling her because it will be a permanent problem in the relationship.

    3. She supposedly slept with someone AFTER you broke up. Not before. She has no obligation to be loyal to you when you're not together. While you may be heartbroken, let's be quite frank. It's done of your business what she does. Her private life is no longer your concern, and the "friends" who told you of what she did are not really friends.

    My friends tell me things that help me, not hurt me. Telling you that your ex went sleeping with other people does ZERO to help you. It only harms you emotionally and psychologically. Your friends are either very immature, or being malicious to you intentionally.

    4. This is a very common theme, but she probably did not like you very much in the first place. Girls are sometimes asked out, and they say yes. Then they're stuck in a relationship they don't really want. It may take some time before they get fed up and leave. But when they do - it's usually because they find someone else they like - or because they just want to be free of a relationship and go have fun, party and have sex. At college or university age, I've seen lots of girls break up with their high school bf specifically because there's so many more hot boys to sleep around with.

    • Thank you for your advice meowcow

      Maybe I rushed in the question, and wasn't much detailed, i apologize for this.

      When I was told hooked up, as in kissed.. but God knows what was behind that, nothing about sleeping together.

      If she doesn't text for a while, then she doesn't care anymore, and then life will keeping me busy until I move on, so i believe its a matter of time more than anything, because I still love her.

      I dont think that she didn't like me very much, there was this time she was so in love with me, talked about marriage, future, it was like us only left in this world and we were so happy together, she worked to come to visit me in my country and met most of my family, she did her best helping me in depression the last week i saw her, right before the army drift us apart, for me attending the one year service, and we agreed on distance ( 11 months not seen eachother )

    • Show All
    • never told her that i lost feelings for her*

    • From what you've said, there are a few things I'm thinking of.

      1. Your issues about depression may have caused her doubt in the relationship. Girls are usually attracted to confidence in men as it also indicates the ability to protect them. The other aspect they look at is the ability to provide.

      Your depression issues may have made you look weak and unable to protect her. If we were to speak about the ability to provide, it's similar to how girls get fed up when their boyfriend is unemployed and sits on the couch playing games all day. Guys often avoid girls with a lot of emotional baggage or drama. This is the girl's version of it.

      Also, I would speak to your friends about why they thought she would break up with you. They will usually see subtle hints in her behavior indicating that she's not that into you. You'll be too lovestruck to notice these signs, but your friends will see it. They may be able to shed more light on why she left.

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