Men, why did my ex say he didn't want a commitment after I left, just sex?

So my ex tells me that after I moved out, after being together for 11 years, that he didn't want a relationship with anyone, just sex. So he begins an affair with a married coworker, as he thought it would be just sex. Well, they got caught by her spouse and she got kicked out of her home. My ex let her move into his house... literally 4 months after I moved out. So... it went from just sex, to a relationship and living together. He still says it was just sex. If it was just sex, why didn't he tell her to find somewhere else to live? Just curious what your thoughts are. Do you think he loved her? Why do you think he told me all of this? She has since moved out and he said "it's over" between them... ugh... any input would be appreciated.

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  • I think its because he felt guilty about ruining the marriage. So he let her stay with him, now she is replacing her husband with him, and he is just letting things go forward.

    Him contacting you? Personally I think your best friend might be less than stellar. I would not, and will not be friends with someone who would go into a relationship with a married person. There is no honor or dignity in that.

    He is justifying what he was doing with the married chick and he seems to think that he is ok with his choices. Does the married chick know he is still talking to you?

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    • I'm not condoning affairs and I agree completely that my ex is an ASS... it doesn't change how my heart feels. I don't know if the married chick knows and I really could care less. As far as I was told, she moved out and bought a home. Idk. Thanks for responding.

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What Guys Said 2

  • She probably cried her ass off and he fell for it. Just thank God or whatever you believe in that he's out of your life

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    • Possibly... it still makes no sense why he felt the need to tell me all of this. I can't say that yet. I still love him. 11 years is a LONG time. I miss my best friend and apparently he misses something about me/our relationship since he's contacting me. Idk. Thanks for your input.

    • I know it's a hard adjustment, but you couldn't seriously consider taking him back. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.

    • No... I am not ever going back with him. It doesn't change how my heart feels now. :(

  • men and women are miseducated

    Cut Through the Miseducation about People and Relationships
    put that on YouTube
    arash dibazer

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