Advice on getting over this break up?

My boyfriend broke up with me four days ago and I've been crying on and off ever since. He said the reason for the break up is that he cannot do long distance and we'd have to if we stay together because I'm going to college.

From the beginning (2 and a half months ago), I said I didn't want to do long distance but he convinced me to give it a chance and talk about what to do during Thanksgiving break. But now this break up caught me by surprise. He was the first person I've ever loved (yeah high school relationship I know I know) and I lost my virginity to him (which might not be a big deal for him but is a pretty big deal for me) and he said he definitely wont' break up with me before August. I know these are stupid reasons for feeling betrayed but I still feel betrayed and rejected.

The thing is, there's this guy that asked me out on a date to cheer me up after I told him I got dumped. He kissed me and stuff, but it felt so familiar (like I was with him but I imagined I was kissing my ex). It also felt so much like I was cheating on my ex. Needless to say there was not a second date.

Is there any way for me to get over it quickly? It just hurts because there were "promises" and I put a lot into it and now it's just over and I still feel like he controls my life. It feels like I gave a big part of me away and now I can't have it back because he has it. I'm tired of crying and I want to get over it now. Help?


Most Helpful Girl

  • My advice is to forget about him. I know, it hurts, and you're right. He was a big deal. If you're tired of crying, that's a good sign. You're ready to get over him. Yoy said you feel like he has a part of you right? Take that part back, and get away from him. It will hurt less. And as for your friends.. think of them as a mistake you made. You accidentally made bad friends. It's okay. Now you know what fake friends are like. But youd knoe what? Next time, you'll learn from your mistakes and make better friends. If you absolutely have to, list everything bad about your boyfriend. It'll make you feel better about letting go. And yay you're going into college now! So am I! A chance to make new, true friends, and a boyfriend to be with for 4+ years! You've cried enough, so now just forget about it. Okay? :) I'm sure he was a good guy, but now you'll find one that loves you even more with all his heart. Message me if you want!


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm very very sorry this happened to you... you deserve someone that is strong and is willing to fight to stay with you... to get over this you need FRIENDS...
    Besides a boyfriend friends are the single most important thing in life.. It's amazing it really is how a couple of people can easily make you forget almost everything and focus on the good the now the present. Very close friends will make you feel at home. Don't cry you will feel better I promise!

    • Thanks. The thing is those people who I thought were my friends apparently supported the relationship more than they support me and my best friend dropped me as a friend after the break up too which makes it even worse. :(

    • Show All
    • no i have not

    • Shit gets insane lol get back into it... get your mind off of this.

  • Everyone feels rejected after a breakup. It sucks. Especially if you were misled about his intentions.
    You will be going off to college in a few weeks, so concentrate on that, and you will make new friends and probably meet some cool guys. In the meantime, you should go out with the new guy, to redirect your attentions. It's only been a few days, and you should be with somebody. You can do something simple, like go out to eat, a movie or hang at the park or zoo. Just being with someone that is interested in you will
    lessen the pain, and help you move on.

    • Thanks. I've been concentrating on college and I am really excited about that. I do hang out with the new guy, but like I said, it feels either too familiar or too much like cheating. He's kissed me and I liked that until the guilt sets in and then I freak out because I was vulnerable with the last relationship and that ended badly. I really like intimacy but there's a mental block now that says if I get intimate with someone (even just kissing) he'll drop me and I'll get hurt.

    • I understand the uncertainty of new relationships, but it is the best way to get past the old one.
      You shouldn't feel like you are cheating, he dumped you, so you are free and clear to pursue other
      interests. It is good to hang with the new guy, and hopefully you can enjoy his company and kisses.
      We date to find MR Right. Obviously the last one wasn't it. That's why we try again. If everyone let their failed experiences stop them, then there would not be any new experiences!! Let the new guy into your life, and enjoy him.

    • Thank you.

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