HELP! How to return back to bf/gf after long-distance breakup? He says that he will never have the same loving, soulmate feelings again. Wt to do?

I was in a long-distance relation 17 months. It is hell & I do not recommend it. However, I decided to make the sacrifice cuz I truly believe in fighting for love. AND, cuz my bf was confident he would see me multiple times within this 17 month period. We have very limited opportunities to meet due to his visa restriction (Asian), so he was relying on his work events abroad (never happened) or getting a promotion (never happened) to have the finances to book my trip to visit him.

After one year passed, I was constantly picking on him and starting fights because he still did not establish himself (30 y/o) nor did his career progress (shit happens). I verbally abused, nagged, and grew more impatient. Loving words were not enough and I couldn't live with the unknown meet date. He does earn less in currency in comparison and I don't know his financial obligations.

My negativity turned into him giving me the silent treatment twice in the month of May and July. We talked during those months, but only by message at times. After 2nd ST, he said "we would rebuild the foundation and start as friends, then work up to a relationship again." But, 2 weeks after this was said, he suddenly decides that we should move our separate ways cuz "I will never change my attitude and I caused damage to him, that is unforgettable" (during my rage time). He said "all feelings were washed away". He also said that "he needed time to forget the trauma" I caused n then contradicts! Y claim to work up to soulmates again n then call quits. WTF? I feel mislead the past 2 weeks n that I was just being punished for my wrongs. HE also said "let destiny decide". SOme crap!

He said he will be apart of my life and support me, but only as friends. That part is sincere, but I DO NOT want him in my life if we will never get back together. We had a very romantic, loving relationship that cannot be forgotten. I cannot bring myself to block him yet cuz I want to save our bond and can't give up!


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  • Apologize for being nasty towards him and be there for him and he will forgive you. He doesn't really want to break up either, but he doesn't want to deal with the tude that's why he said the starting as friends and working your way back to a relationship again, new foundation. If you change your attitude he will want to stay together.

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    • Thanks! That's what is so confusing now. One side he said "no feelings" and "never again". Yet, previously said, he would give me this "final chance" after the second silent treatment. There is so much back and forth. When I brought up about giving me the last chance, he ignored it and said not to pick on him, but correct my own mistakes first. It is hard to tell whether he is hoping I will change and waiting for that or not. Yet, he still keeps saying we are "moving on" our separate paths. Men are so complicated! :D

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