Girlfriend left me and I need help please!?

so my girlfriend for 8 months that I'm so in love with broke up with me 4 days ago and I'm crushed, can't sleep or eat and i don't feel like doing anything, we had plans for getting married and live our lives with each other by each others side, she makes me feel so happy and loved we have a love so rare some people may never experience it... so i messed up really bad, in the beginning of the relationship i was scared to go to her house so i would make up excuses not to go and would blow her off cause i was so nervous, used to be bullied for years and hate being judged so i would blow her off then i started smoking and i forgot that we war supposed to hangout not a big deal she was mad but it was done the a 2nd a 3r a 4th a 5th then a 6th and we broke up but i managed to get her back but she was hurt now 3 months later for the past month I've been smoking behind her back only cause it was fun to do with my friends, she would ask me occasionally if i had smoked and id say no grab her face and say" no baby i love you so much i would never do that again to you" well she found out i did and i broke her heart, she doesn't believe me that I'm actually turning over a new leaf I've talked to my family about smoking and my relationship and they gave me great advice I've already started by reading books and not hanging out with the kids i would smoke with. she doesn't believe me but I'm actually serious this time I'm done I've lost the love of my life cause I'm a idiot i thought by not telling her it would protect us but it made it worse, she says she doesn't wanna be with anyone right now and just needs time ti think, i can't sleep eat or anything need her i can't live without her i text her everyday and call her and tell her i lover her I'm sorry and to take me back and that iv changed but she hardly replies, i need help I'm not gunna sit here and let the love of my life walk right out of my life. ill do anything to have her back please someone help!


Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not going to get get back right away, if you do. I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you sad, but that is a big deal. You grabbed her face and put everything on a lie. The ONLY way you will get her back is through actions. She will have to see, in her own time, that you are sincerely making a change. I wouldn't rush her or you may push her too far away


Most Helpful Guy

  • "we had plans for getting married and live our lives with each other by each others side"

    After EIGHT months? Was this by any chance your first relationship? Because usually guys are only that dumb when it's their first time.

    "we have a love so rare some people may never experience it."
    Again, something usually only said and believed by kids in the first flush.

    A girl that walks away because you're smoking, isn't someone mature enough to make a life long commitment. You're both obviously just kids, who still believe that issues are black and white and there's no room for nuance or overlooking trivial issues in a relationship.

    If I was being harsh, I'd say grow up. But let me just say this instead - she's not the love of your life. Most grown up guys have gone through exactly what you're going through, and we look back now and laugh at our idiot younger selves.

    It will pass. There's other girls out there. Even if you can't believe that right now, it's still true.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Dude, you royally fucked up :c


      You're going to have to not give up, I know you probably want to curl up into a little ball and hide, but this is not the time!
      Go to her house (and stop making excuses), tell her you know you fucked up, and then tell her how much she means to you. EVERYTHING, even if it makes you feel fucking awkward, tell her all the little things you love about her. Then invite her to dinner at your house, where your parents can vouch that you have come to them, and their helping you with the smoking.
      She doesn't trust you anymore, and you should be ashamed for lying to her and breaking her trust. Regaining trust is difficult and time consuming, but if she's worth it to you, then it will all be worth it.

  • you'll be ok :) realize you're good enough to get over this, and then work towards it as best as you can


What Guys Said 2

  • Stop texting her and calling her. It's over. Learn the harsh lesson that life is teaching you since you didn't learn it the first time. You were habitually dishonest with her and disrespectful to her wishes. The next time you get with a girl, start being more upfront and honest.


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