My mom thinks I have "parental alienation syndrome" can you guys help me out?

I don't want to make this long but basically... My mom and dad broke up in 04 with a nasty custody battle. Then she came crying to his doorstep in 09. They got married, and I told him not to do it. I am now 17 and they're going through a divorce and my mom thinks my dad is alienating me. My dad told me all the stuff my mother really did back in 04 which included stealing $18,000 from him. Using her ex husbands name on her card and taking money from him, and more money scandals. She never has spent time with me growing up. If she did id have to beg her or she would bitch the whole time. I grew up extremely depressed. My dad took time out of work just to spend time with me, and he was there for me! When I was 6 living with my mom (half time) she would smoke in our apartment and wake me up with it after the many times I told her not too. At my house now she smokes as well but outside and it goes into my window and she still doesn't listen. Her alcoholic brother lives with us and he's so rude and he's drunk everyday and I'm so uncomfortable. At a concert one of my moms friends pushed me when she was drunk. It's this crazy long story and I want to live with my dad because he is such a great dad and I love him so much. I want to live him but my mom keeps trying to make me feel guilty. I don't even know if that was even a question maybe I just wanted to get my feelings out but what do you guys think? Sorry it it's long.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. Unfortunely I don't know what is like to have divorced parents because they are still married. But I can tell you one thing I know what it's like to favor one parent over the other. Growing up I spent most of the time with my mom not that my dad wasn't a good father but he spent most of the time working to provide for us. Having a close relationship with you father is nothing to be ashamed of and definitely nothing to feel guilty about. Your mom should understand (although she won't because she's your mother) and accept what's best. If your life is being put in danger then you can go to court for your father to have full custody. Don't wait until it's too late, don't feel guilty, your conscious know what's right. Get your dad involved but also have a one on one talk with your mom to help her understand. The best advice I can give you is follow your heart it will take you to the right decision.

    • The thing i think there is something wrong with my mom. She is bi polar or something. She is acting so crazy and she never spends time with me and chooses everyone over me.

    • Get your dad involved. He is your best option. As a good father he knows what is best. Like I said if she is putting you through child neglect then the court may have to give your father either full or majority custody over you.

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  • I have a mom who was more or less similar to what you described. I wouldn't say you have 'parental alienation syndrome' but rather you go towards what makes you feel most comfortable (that being your dad). If you don't want to be around her while she's acting like this you have plenty of reason not to. If it's brought up into a custody battle again, you dad would obviously win given the circumstances.

  • Just tell her you're at an age you need to focus on school/career and you might find it easier to live there or something and that you'll come visit.
    Tbh, she's not caring much about your feelings, then she's trying to guilt trip you, and you are thinking and still caring about her feelings, she's lucky to have such a nice daughter. Also, if she doesn't bother to spend time with you, why is she so upset if you want to leave? I'm not being rude, but sometimes, when somebody doesn't put you first, you have to do the same to them, even if it's your mother. If you always put her first, where would you go in life? If you put your own needs first, where would you go? Mothers are meant to want whatever is best for their kids, even if they'll miss them, they have to put their feelings aside and be selfless, parents main role is to make sure the kid goes as far in life and is as happy as possible, she's not doing that.

    I have to say though, don't take in what your dad says. Their relationship is separate from yours and hers. You must also remember how people usually talk about their ex's usually, parents are no different, they rant and rave about the bad, not reminisce about the good bits. Your dad shouldn't really bring you into that kind of stuff either, that's his and his ex issue, and it shouldn't ever affect you and your mom, and vice versa.
    My parents were married a really long time and recent divorced, both were moaning to me about the other, and I told them look that's still my dad/mom ok I don't want to hear it, I get it you hate each other, but leave me out of it.

  • I think that your parents are trying to pull you into the middle of their problems. I've never been through divorce, but it sounds like they're trying to make you choose sides while playing dirty.

    I won't be able to understand what you're going through on an emotional level, but it doesn't seem like they're taking into consideration how you're going to cope with all of this.

    The lucky thing is, you're 17 so you're very close to not having to live with either of them, whether that be college or deciding who you feel more comfortable spending your time without while the your parents will have no legal say.


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