I'm lonely for love?

I have been dating this guy who says he is in a up and down relationship. So we both said it was love at first sight. He doesn't have a car or drivers License so I drive and pick him up. He is trying to get back on his feet. I have tried to help but he shuts me out. When he is with me he party's every night comes here around 3 takes a shower we have sex and he back at it with the boys. He says when he is with her they don't talk and they are in 2 different rooms but he is there. I must admit I have been arguing with him about spending more time with me. He said he would and the night he was supposed to he went hung out with the guys and came home about 130. I asked him could we talk for 10 minutes and he hollered I have to go I found out he was with the boys so I got upset about it. The next day he said he didn't want to be with me anymore because I was drama because I wanted to spend time he didn't have. I asked him did he really want us to end but he won't respond to my texts so I think he is really done. What should I do what did I do wrong
To add more hurt and pain to me he changed his picture in social media to a old picture of him and her. I looked at his page 3yrs back and he doesn't have 1 picture of them as a profile. Not even in his photos I guess that's the answer to my? Tears
I texted and called him today several times and he has not responded or called me once I begged him to tell me if it's over just say yes or no and he won't respond. Nothing from him all day.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok. I myself am like 22 and have not had a girl even an ugly one bat an eye on me. Hell I have had ugly ones even give that disgusted look at me, when someone jokes about her dating me and I am like do you even look in a mirror.

    Anyways, that being said. As desperate I am. I am not going to endure that type of bull crap from someone. Even if after so long I finally get one. If she is like in anyway like the guy you described. It ain't worth it. I have been alone for well literally my whole life. So screw it. It ain't worth it. I already know how to be alone.

    The wrong on your part is even bothering about this guy at all. I mean come on, he comes around 3 takes a shower, has sex and he is out? I mean are you kidding me? I mean how, hell more so. Why even bother with this guy.

    This guy doesn't seem like he is getting back on his feet. He just seems like an ass. Screw him. you are better off all alone and miserable than waste your time with an ass... who obviously isn't making you feel any better.

    • You speak the Truth my eyes are full of Tears but I know you speak the Truth. Thanks

    • Being lonely sucks but rather loneliness than be with people who will just make life more miserable. I try to be happy with the fact that, at least my arms and legs are doing good. I can always rely on them till they fail. It's depressing to think such but putting up with crap from people ain't worth it.

      I do not have an answer on how to fight loneliness but what I can tell is. Try to have at least some sort of purpose in life. Like set mini goals or something to distract yourself. I don't have any expectations in life and it worsens the loneliness. That much I can say to you.

      So you know focus on friends or family or hell you can go on websites like this, like I do. Helping others with their problems. Doesn't make me feel any better the next day but hell it's better than wallowing in my self pity.

      Good luck to you. If you do find an answer to loneliness. Make sure to keep me in the loop : /

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, He Has Used You For The Things You Do. To Him You Were Just A Side Chick & He Would Come To You When He Felt Like It. Never Become Somebody's Side Chick (Even If They Tell You They Are Gonna Soon Leave Their Other Significant Other For You.) Right Now You Are High In Your Emotions & Need Time Out To Take For Yourself, Dont Contact Him, He Did You Wrong & He Threw It Up In Your Face By Posting That Picture Up. Just Leave Him Alone Even If He Tries To Come Back, If You Take Him Back Then He Will Know He Can Do It Again & You Can't Allow That To Happen, You Have To Move On, Find A Man Thats Not Committed, Find Somebody Who Will Talk & Actually Wanna Spend Time With You, Move On, Stay Positive & Stay Strong...

    • Thanks I really appreciate the advice I'm am trying so hard to embrace it all. And to walk away with out looking back. He has not called or texted so I don't think I will hear from him again anyway. I think him posting that picture of him and her was his way of saying get lossed. Why else would he do that. People know we were talking so it's so embarrassing but I guess I got what I deserve. I really thought he wanted me. Thanks

  • You didn't do anything wrong except allow him to use you, when he comes back and he will tell him to jump in a lake and drown, because you love yourself better than to be used by trawh again.

  • He sounds like a real dream boat...

    • I guess when your lonely you will settle for anything. . I'm such a looser

    • Don't be so hard on yourself.
      Based on what you have written, he's the loser, not you.
      The lucky right man will come along and both of you will be very happy.

What Girls Said 3

  • Oh my Im very sorry about this! Please dump him, he is trying to use you at his leisure. From my experience, if a guy likes you, you dont have to work hard for attention. They will willingly give it to you just as easy as the air you breathe. Take notes and never let a douche like him use your home to wash up or whatever game plan , he was using. Next time don't give up the goods... spend his money and have fun. Life's too short to have anyone use you for sex. Too many StD in our day and age. Condoms ain't 100%
    You are better than that! You are worth a guys time , so just date and be straight up about what you want exactly from a guy. When you give up sex quickly, a guy never sees your worth. He thinks you're easy. Next time, Make him work for the awesome person you are! Good Luck and give that special heart to a special person, never a douchY 😉
    Peace and God Bless.

    • Thanks. You are so right. I just pray for the strength to get up and hold my head up. Thanks

    • I can only speak from my experience, I've been through it too. Take care and you have the right idea!

    • Oh by the way we fall in love because of our human make up. Scientifically : Having sex can trigger love because after orgasm, there’s a peak in dopamine activity. So watch out if you casually bed down with someone—you might unintentionally fall for them. Good Luck!

  • keep urself away frmm this guy

  • I am sorry to say this but he clearly doesn't deserve your care.

    You are Number 2. You should stop this relationship immediately.

    If he cared about you he would give you more time or at least listen to you.

    Don't waste any more time with him.

    I used to be in a somehow similar relationship. He was divorced but kept saying he is busy with his kid or mum etc. when I gently suggested more time. I regret I didn't dump him at the first sign. It took me months to see reality. I loved him and he said he has feelings but it's not enough.

    • I know I should but every time I try he makes me feel I did something wrong and then I find myself trying to make him happy again. He stays with me 2 to 3 nights a week but no real time. I love him and I thought he loved me

    • In our lives we have to meet all types of men, hopefully till we land on Mr Right :)

      I know it's hard to ignore him if you truly love him, which is your case. It was mine too, with the exception that there was no other woman as far as I know.

      Think about it as an amputation procedure: you have to cut off what makes you seemingly happy but deeply miserable. Cut him off. It will hurt and you will literally mourn the loss, bit you will realize later that you did the right thing because your mind will gradually start to see the negative sides of this relationship. You don't sound happy.

      I also advise you to date other men_ just go out and flirt. It will feel weird but it will help you regain your confidence away from him.

      I wish you all the best:)

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