My now ex girlfriend lives at my longtime friends house and we broke up. is it fair that she still lives there? Is it unfair of me to ask her to move?

My girl friend of 3 years broke up with me the other day, because she said she doesn't care enough anymore and doesn't have enough time and energy wants to be on her own. Which i am still very hurt by!

But my problem is that about a year ago she was looking for a flat she didn't want to move in with me which was ok, but i made the mistake when some of my long time close friends (guys and girls) who live locally had a room going. So i told them she was looking for a flat (not really thinking of this day).

This was fine because i could see my friends as well as her when i visited and we would all hang out it was fun. She didn't have a lot of her own friends so this made her happy and she likes it there which was good.

But now that we have broken up and i don't want to "just be friends" with her so soon after breaking up i need some time. which means i can't even visit my friends anymore.

This i find unfair!

I told her i can't make her move but if she respect my space it would be the right thing to do. She said she "doesn't want to move out because she likes it there". and is more upset about the prospect of moving out that then breaking up with me.

Is it unfair of me to ask her to move?

please help a confused and hurt guy shed some light on this.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i think it's kind of odd that she's living with your friends. But then again, that's just me.

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    • i think so too! thanks mate im glad someone see it like that.

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    • Its not right aye. it like she liked me partly because i do have a lot of friends now that she is friends with them herself and she don't need me no more, so im less attractive to her. its so cold hearted

    • I think it's a sign of a dysfunctional individual and a leech.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • yes it is unfair of you to ask her to move out. you can still see your friends even if she is there. yes things will be awkward and weird, but there isn't anything stopping you from seeing them. you can also always go out with your friends.

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    • you are right i guess. but it is also unfair on me because I would'nt be able to do that, i think it would be to just too hard for me to do. i just wish i never told her about the flat in the first place. the only way i can cope is if she is out of my life altogether at the moment. but if she is at the place where i go to socialise and with the people that i need to help me through this its going to be impossible! i can't go there if she's there, just can't. i know it sounds unreasonable but think if she really wants her own independents then take it right away for me. and find her own friends... i know i can't make her move. but if she respected me i think it would be a good thing to do.

    • it stinks that she won't move out, but you can't blame HER for YOU not wanting to go to your friends' place.

      if she is happy where she is and feels independent of you, then she is going to stay right where she is.

    • i guess your right, but it is directly because of her that i don't want to go there. its sucks but i just have to deal with it. because as per usual most people are going to side with the girl even my friends probably.

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, You can't Make Her Move Out So Accept It, When You Go To Your Friends House You Dont Have To Talk To Her (iKnow It Would Be Awkward) Or Even Pay Attention To Her, But She Isn't Wrong For Not Moving Out...

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    • you are right i guess. but it is also unfair on me because I would'nt be able to do that, i think it would be just too hard for me to do. i just wish i never told her about the flat in the first place. the only way i can cope is if she is out of my life altogether at the moment. but if she is at the place where i go to socialise and with the people that i need to help me through this its going to be impossible! i can't go there if she's there, just can't. i know it sounds unreasonable but think if she really wants her own independents then take it right away for me. and find her own friends... i know i can't make her move. but if she respected me and my space i think it would be a good thing to do.

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