How can a guy lose feelings, stop caring and move on so quickly?

I don't get this at all. I've lost feelings for guys, but never when things were starting to get serious.

I just don't get how you can tell a girl "you mean a lot to me", "you're special", "I care about you" then break up with her a few days later and lead her on and play the fuck out of her after, promising something could happen in the future, such as possibly dating again, then all of a sudden quit talking to her, never trying to make plans (even when she asked first), and then even after she's done and ends it doesn't even care at all and hangs out with all his friends while she's crying and can't even hang out with guys without wanting him.

Yes this happened to me. I just wanna know, how can someone possibly stop caring and nice on so quickly after making tons of promises not to leave and saying so much.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some guys are just liars. If he's a known player, could be that.

    But I think what more often happens is that people -keep saying- all the right things even as their feelings fade. They may only feel it 80%, but they keep saying the right things and its just slightly forced but you know, they're hoping they feel 100% again. And then they feel 50% ... and they are still keeping up appearances, and its half true, they sometimes feel a lot of caring, but its not the same, but they're covering it up, and then their feelings are down to 20%, and they are saying it and then end it.

    And after they end it? they're still at 20% maybe, but they cut off all contact to make a clean break.

    You never really know, and I certainly can't know. But I think that's more likely. I'm sorry it hurts. Maybe its easier to get over him thinking he's a lying jerk, but maybe that doesn't fit with what you know of him. If that's true, maybe thinking (and guessing) that he was trying to hold it together hoping his feelings would strengthen till it became obvious they wouldn't

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    • tbh I'm never gonna know either what the reason was. I trusted him a lot so I feel maybe it was the losing feelings but still saying the cute things, but at the same time he said some things that were really iffy and seemed like lies a lot. But who knows. Thanks for the answer anyway :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honesty i was thinking the same thing... most guys like you be in their life, you probably rocked their entire world and they leave you like you never existed. The honest truth is they got hurt.. realll bad before. They loved someone and that girl ended it just like that. So now they do that to others and maybe not as intentional as we think but just so they can be safe. I know because of this one guy, me and him got close and i knew he got hurt before so he was trying to push me away but he stopped when we got little serious but when things ended i was so broken but i knew that id never make that same mistake again and honestly i know i hurt a lot of people because of this but i know i dont ever want to go through that again.. But later my friends told me that he turned into a real jerk, his kik names and all are "dgaf about ya feelings" so i know he got madd hurt as much as i did and he's trying his best not to come down that path again. I know you aren't going to do the same thing and probably play more hard to get the next time... its a cycle. But your not vulnerable anymore and you know what it feels like to hurt. Like that song from eminem "Gained my trust, dont play games it'll be dangerous cuz if you f*ck me over, cuz if i get burnt ima show you what its like to hurt, cuz i been treated like dirt before ya..." But trust me everyone stops playing games and bs when they find the right one to settle down. Your going to know who it is, just keep your heart locked, dont let em say they had a turn with you because your hard to find and even harder to have ;)

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    • Those type of guys don't 'stop playing games when they settle down. ' They're called players for a reason, who love to play and never change.

    • Thanks :) this honestly made my day hahaa you're right. before me and him, he told me he was in a really long relationship like a year and a half and then he was cheated on and fucked over and then when things got serious for our relationship that's when he left lol but that's true I'm learning a lot from it now that I know how much it sucks being hurt :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • im assuming he has no idea what you're going through and how you're feeling. he's a teenager, I expect this kind of attitude from him by default. he's still growing up don't forget and has much to learn. he can't know everything already so when he says stupid shit like that he most likely doesn't know what he's saying because he's indecisive and just says stuff anyways. but just remember, its his loss. he sounds like a douche and totally not worth your time and experience.

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    • He's 19 haha so he's a little older but that's true, he probably is still growing up and indecisive.

    • he's definitely still growing up. I was stupid as fuck at 19 hahaa.

  • Hell at your age no guy thinks about permanent except for a select few. If you want something serious wait till your out of high school. Otherwise you will keep having the same problem because most guys only think about what you want after that age. That is the problem I am facing now.

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    • he is right

    • Ya I mean assuming that your american, especially guys in our schools could care less about the future with the girl because they think that the girl as well knows that the relationship is temporary. Unless you are one of those few that gets a guy that is willing to do anything for a girl you are better off waiting if you want something serious rather getting your heart broken time and time again.

  • Usually those situations mean that someone else is in the picture as well.

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    • that's true. He'd always talk about how I'm the first girl in a long time who wanted him so not to even worry about other girls then later I found out he talked to four other girls before me in the time of about 2 months and I remember a girl while we were dating trying to get with him so girls not wanting him clearly wasn't a problem. lol who knows

  • Guys dont really care about relationship even from the very start of ur relationship. Guys get in relationship juz to get laid and when he got it, he's became bored of u and ur good for nothing after that. Than time to move on to score on another cutie. Their goal in life is to experience and score as many cuties as possible.

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    • Key r u like that too

    • Show All
    • yes so u r fortuante :)
      some people are meant to come into our lives teachus a lesson and leave, he is one of them :)

    • U got it right ma kangy. Truly a woman of wisdom ;3

  • Guys who never actually felt they liked you in that way, but instead lied to you about it. Probably to try and have sex

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What Girls Said 4

  • its likely he never did care and was saying it to hook up

    young girls, stop being so easy! im not calling you a ho, but I am saying if this is a pattern; that guys keep telling u sweet things u wanna hear, then lead you on... then maybe u are too gullible and need to stop being so easy with ur trust and emotions. guys will tell u a lot to get in ur pants. its ur job to be less trusting and not believe everything a guy with an agenda tells u

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    • I know what you mean. The thing is, I didn't think of all of that. He knew about my trust issues and all and made some empty promises about never leaving and stuff.

      I told him I was a virgin and at first he told me whenever I was comfortable but then I noticed he kind of rushed it and one night I wouldn't have sex with him and he really tried to convince me asking why I didn't trust him and why I didn't really wanna be with him.

      But you're right and I see this all as a learning experience now and now I really know not to trust guys. Thanks :)

  • i went through something similar and i am glad he decided not to continue.
    he mentioned that the other girl is just different, even though he knew i am a good person. i believe it is because i refused to put out easily and i am so glad i didn't. he is a jerk.

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    • it sucks! I was so faithful and committed and would do anything for him and he knew it. then I wouldn't do anything right away and he just conveniently leaves after. these guys give up good girls for hoes.

    • i was too, but it is his loss :) my gain

  • Probably he never felt something truly. If there is a real feeling, you can't on or off it that way.

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  • I know how you feel, I've been through the exact same thing.
    It's just these guys are lying pricks who know what to say and are probably saying the same to other girls too. They have no emotion and think with their dicks.
    Guys like that deserve to rot in hell.

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