My Son father... What is really happening here from a guy perspective?

Hi so my son father and I were together almost 2 years. When we met we were total opposites however, we really click. We talk about almost everything. When I got pregnant he started pulling away. Eventually he came back and ask me if we can work things out. People kept telling me that he needs to change before I can be with him or he will leave again. I really wanted stuff to work so I felt that telling him he needs to change will fix stuff. He told me that I should love him for who he is and I do but I dont like some of the stuff he does. I feel as tho he should slow down on the partying and pay more attention to me and the baby. Since I got pregnant n he began pulling away I felt that he was scared and would come around. Fast forward, we'r not together. He msgs me how much he loves me. Then he would ask if we can work things out and I told him ok. I felt as tho he didn't really think it tru. We spent the day with the baby and that's why he asked if we can be a fam. I knew that he didn't fully tthink everything tru but was excited about how the day went. I wanted to tell him I know he isn't into it so figure out what he want. Same time he message talking about how much he loves me but needs time to his self he isn't sure what he want. He calls and tell me everything like the start of the relationship we speak bout anything. People tell me if I want to make up I shouldn't be so nice to him and act like I don't care then he would miss and want me back. They told me guys like the trace and I should be hard to get. One time he called me and he was arguring and it was hard but I was harsh with him. When the convo was over he message me and said he acts stupid sometims but am the on he love and is really sorry. Today he call again to discussed personal issues. Am I wrong to think that there is still something there? What should I do in this situation? Would he really miss me more if i talk to him less n ignore him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your friends are partially right. Your problem is that you're putting up with your bullshit. You basically have to lay it out like this:

    "I want you to be part of this family. If you come back to me, I expect you to be committed to me an our child. Do not call me again until you have figured out what you want, but know that I'm not waiting around indefinitely for you".


Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, iFeel Like You Should Take Some Time Off For Yourself, iKnow He Is The Baby's Father & You Want Him In Your Life But Deattach The Emotional You When Your Around You, He Clearly Doesn't Know What He Wants & Sounds Like He Is Stringing You Along, Pull Your Feelings Back Some, Dont Try & Force The Relationship...

  • sounds to me like he is immature, wants to live a life that doesn't involve being a father, but wants to have some connection to you.

    I think you need to 100% let him figure out what he wants in life on his own and not at your expense. he can't be back and forth OR in and out. he needs to commit to something and stick with it or let you move on with your life


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