Getting over breakup... whats the best way?

Broke up about 9 weeks ago.

Right now I'm in the time period when I go a few days without thinking about her. I feel happy and content an acceptance that I will never get her back. And I tell myself its okay. It helps when I talk to this other ex thats been talking to me a lot.
But then it seems like out of nowhere something will happen, a movie, a song, most recently the church gospel that will remind me of her and I can't stop thinking about her. This lasts for a couple days. I fight so hard not to text/call her.
How do you get past this period? How do I get it where I dont let words or a movie bother me anymore? I hate it.

Has anyone ever had a similar experience? what did you do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You must go through a long period of recovery time with no communication with the ex, avoiding seeing/hearing anything related to that person. In my experience though, I can only get completely past it when someone else comes into the picture. You start thinking so much about that new person that the remainings of the ex will get lost, finally.

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    • I think thats were I'm at right now. there's is another ex we were off and on for a couple years. 1st time we had been seeing each other about 8-9 months she asked I wanted to be official and maybe rent a place together. I told her we could be official but that I didn't want to live with her, she just said never mind then lets just stay what we are. Couple weeks later she ended it said she should just be friends.
      We went a couple months of NC and then started talking and hanging out again...6-8 months later I ask her if she still wants to get a place together this time she says No and that she's not ready to settle down... So I end things
      Again couple months with NC and we see each other at a party and start taking we hung out a few times but nothing happened it just fizzled out. Since then we text eachother on bdays and holidays.
      Well I talked to her about the breakup as she went through one last fall. 2 weeks after she asked how I was and we've been talking almost every day

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    • Humm.. that sounds a bit complicated - because in your case, you're getting disctracted with another ex :) it's doesn't have to be a bad thing though, as long as you know where you stand. Yes, you need to ask youself if you really want her back (once again) or you just feel like it because it would feel good/ it would make it even easier to forget your other ex/ you miss having a gf and she's the "easiest way" into it? ask yourself that and act accordingly.

    • Seeing that you've known each other for so long, why don't you talk to her about how you feel? try to understand how she feels. Given the possibility of giving it another chance, you guys should first reach a level of understanding as to what you want for yourself in a possible future together. For instance, you must have the same will as to moving in together and so on..

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What Girls Said 4

  • 9 months, so hard! Oh my god. Best thing to do. Get rid of everything she got you or anything that reminds you of her. I did that, felt so much better. I hated it the first week, it was so excruciating. But i'm so much better and stronger then i was years ago

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  • I'm not sure if it's possible to rid yourself of every single thing that may occasionally bring back a memory. I also think There's grieving periods at the end of most any relationship, and sometimes getting over the hurt takes longer than it does with others. I definitely still go through times where something happens that triggers that kind of memory, and it's ok to feel it and validate your own hurt, because that will recenter you and help you move on faster than trying to push it away.

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  • Hang in there. Don't rebound. Find something to occupy yourself with that will make you better. Like gym or reading or sport or work. Then engulf yourself in that. Meet new people.

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    • Well... thats a little too late. I have rebound, well call her (JB). Were just friends with benefits but I think she's getting attached. I dont ever see my self with her at all. The other ex well call her (KC) is the one that gets my mind off my most current ex.. (SB). Its really confusing... I have been running and working out cause that makes be feel better. I just hate the fact that when I talk to KC its the only time I forget about SB...

    • If JB is getting attached cut her loose and find someone who's willing to be casual. Even if JB says she's ok with casual. It's easy to tell when a girl gets hooked. Cut her loose. It's for her own good. As for you. Have you Tried being unattached for a while? It worked for me. I tried everything else. Sometimes replacement isn't the answer. Sometimes you just gotta be ok with yourself. Just reflect as cheesy as that sounds. Like I said it worked for me.

    • yeah she's getting attached she's asked me like 3 times if there's a future or what I see her as. she's been calling me "babe" I've told her that I dont us in a relationship and that were just friends. she has said "okay just want to make sure i know the boundaries" but then she's keeps asking, and then she asks if there's anyone else, or what I would do if I went out and the opportunity to go home with someone... I dont want to hurt her feelings but im starting to think maybe it wasn't a good idea. Thanks for the advice.

  • Keep yourself occupied all the time, fight the temptation of texting/calling her. Go out, enjoy being single. Keep your head up!

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What Guys Said 3

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, The Biggest Factor Is Time, Besides Doing Activities To Occupy Your Mind With, Time Will Be A Huge Factor, It's Takes Longer For Some People & For Others It's Short, Just Stay Strong & Stay Positive...

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  • Sounds so sad.

    Probably should be the last to answer this as I am the heartbreaker. But 9 weeks seems like enough of a heeling period. I could understand if this was a marriage or a extremely long relationship but over 2 months you should be at a better place than now. But I everyone is different and it may just take you more time to heal. Take care buddy.

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    • Yeah I dont know... we dated 8 months we moved in together after 3.5 months. She was a two yr daughter who I also miss very much. I dated a girl for 2.5 years and it took about 6 months to get over her. Then there was another girl I dated for 18 months and I think a month a later I felt fine. I dont know what it is about this girl though.
      Maybe its the fact that for the first month after we broke up every now and then she would text me.. "hey" "good night" "I miss scaring you" "hope you have great day" the first couple times I would respond, next day I would imitate contact of course she wouldn't respond so I started ignoring her completely... then she comes at me with "So were not talking anymore" my responds was "Yes, I've just been busy" since then we talked about game of thrones one night but other that I've only told her to get her mail from the mailbox and come get the rest of her stuff, kitchen supplies, movies, and a pair of jeans she left.

  • There's never really a way to get over the certain "song" or "movie." You'll always be reminded of her, but eventually when you do see/hear it. You'll just smile and remember good times.

    But you need to fill your time with friends and family. Say yes to every event you are invited to and you'll be on your way to just smiling about everything else.

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