How can I shove this in his face in a classy way?

So, I know this is really petty and stupid and not very mature but I really want to get back at my ex boyfriend. But not in a way that seems like I'm being petty and immature. Basically we dated for over three years and I put up with him treating me like shit for the last year (Literally like a piece of garbage) because I thought I could make things work - well anyway I was heart broken and I am over him now (after realizing out relationship was over long before it actually ended) I am now seeing a new guy but nobody knows because I do want to keep it quiet for a few weeks to get to know him better, and not have the fallout of my last relationship affecting the new one. Well anyway back to getting revenge on my ex. There are a few things I can rub in his face already - like that I'm going to graduate before him even though he's two years older, that I have a job and he's sitting on his ass on welfare, that I don't need to party all the time to be happy. What I really want to rub in his face is how happy I am now without him. I want it to put a blow to his ego that might take him down a few notches and make him put his head on straight. Don't get me wrong - I don't hate the guy, on the contrary I care about him a lot. The one final blow is going to be that the guy I'm seeing is amazing in every way, has a good steady job, loves me for who I am exactly, and has awesome cars (I don't know jack about cars but my ex does.)

So please keep the comments about me being petty down to a minimum and even if you do think I am can you help me think of a way to shove this in his face in a classy way?

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  • I wouldn't worry about getting back at him. Sometimes continuing to be yourself and killing him with kindness is the best thing you can do. If he happens to see you with the new guy, he will see the new guy appreciating what he has that your ex missed out on. What he should see is you smiling and being happy, and hopefully not the car and the money (us guys have a tendency to believe that women want to "marry up" in the socioeconomic sense) By being happy, that should be enough to know that he probably should have a plan in life, but not necessarily try to one up others either.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Forget about getting revenge.
    If the former guy really treated you like garbage, he could care less whether you are happy or not in the new relationship.
    You have a new man in your life you care about, say you are happy, so move on.
    The loss is his. Show him you are the better person.

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    • No but it's always a blow to a mans ego when he thinks a girl will still be heart broken over him and then when they aren't it pisses them off.

  • It sounds like you've got it covered already, and you only need patience.
    Your situation will become obvious to him, so don't even try to make it more obvious. You lose points everywhere if you try to make a spectacle of it.

    They say the best revenge is success. Leave it at that.

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  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, If You Try To Get Revenge On Your Ex Then He Will Know Your Not Really Over Him & Wants His Attention, You Dont Want Him To Know That Do You?

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  • Hold your pinky up.

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  • Don't, just write him outta your life.

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  • It's amazing how the word 'but' suddenly just tosses out everything you said before that lol.

    "This is really petty and stupid and immature"... ok cool, so she gets it.

    "BUT, I want to do all of those things anyway"... well fuck, nevermind.

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    • Hey I never said it was a great idea - I'm just saying I'm going to do it and would like advice on how to.

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    • :P Well thank you for that heartfelt and sweet mention of me irritating you, I really appreciate it. ;D

    • I was referring to your ex irritating you by whatever wrong he did you before, but ok... lol

  • dont dish it if u can take it. never kick a guy when he is down because one day he might get up or strike back when u least expect it.

    if u r happy, that is good enough. If u move on a become a great woman, then he will realize he messed up, n that will hurt him enough. u may be ahead of him now, but in a race its not who comes out the blocks first, but who crosses the finish line first.

    when I was 16, a lot of people were a head of me. they drove before I did, graduated before I did, and a bunch of other things. But now, when I run into them, im way ahead. My car n home r nicer, My girlfriend is sexier, I have a better job and a side business going for me now.

    n the fact that u r still so concerned about what he thinks might be a sign that u r not over him in some way.

    if u found a good guy n r happy, move on. u should be happy that your X is gone otherwise u would not of met this new guy

    be happy, let the past be the past

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    • I am over him - I just want him to realize he fucked up, that he is still fucking up his life. I guess you are right - though I am going to tell our mutual friends in detail how happy I am and maybe it will get back to him...

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    • Yes there is love - I'm not denying that, I'm merely accepting the fact that I don't ever want to be with him again - Loving him was toxic. I care about what he thinks because of how many times he hurt me I just want him to feel a fraction of that pain.

    • from the sounds of it, this guy doesn't seem too bright. gaining satisfaction from someone elses pain is not healthy. I know its hard, I use to want to get back at my X, but when I started dating girls that were much prettier, sexier and just over all more of a woman than she was, I felt less bitter n one day I simply did not care. Thats when u know u r over an X, when u r no longer angry. me n this x broke up 9 years ago n just last year she called me n told me she regrets messing up with me. she has a new man and a baby on the way and she told me if it were now, she would be with me. I took it as a compliment, wished her well n im moving on. I have a new girl, we have been together 3 years n going strong. im happy. its our past that teaches us how to prepare for our future. this X of yours taught u a lesson. u now know what hurts u, his job is done. use this to make your life better. it will help u grow as a person

What Girls Said 9

  • I totally understand the desire to get even and show that you're better without someone's negativity. To be honest though, the best way to do it is to ignore the shit out of them and not give a flying fuck about anything that has to do with them, especially their opinions. Also not caring about it will improve your current relationship while trying to get a little revenge will stifle it.

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    • It's a lot more complected than that though - he's still very much a part of my life, we run in the same group of friends...

    • And my moms best friend is my rapists mom and we lived next door. You are welcomed to go and try to get revenge but trust me, if experience taught me anything, it won't make you happier. If anything it will make you miserable.

  • don't do it. I know you want to and that makes sense if he treated you so badly before but just think what would happen to you if your ex started interfering in your relationship with your new boyfriend and creating problems for you guys? or gossiping about you on social media? Just cut this guy off forever and ignore him.

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  • Happiness and success are the best forms of revenge. Always be happy and pleasant around him--nothing upsets you, nothing phases you--he no longer holds that power over you. Just be your awesome, perfect self around him (be happy, smile, look HOT) and he will regret the day that you two ever split.

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    • This is what I was going for in my question! I think too many people took it the wrong way, I don't necessarily want to force him to see it I just want it to be there for him to see if he ever bothers looking

  • Read your first line over and over until you realize there is no classy way to do this. Be the better person.

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  • What for? Just do you, by doing your own thing and not being worried about what he is doing it's already revenge.

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  • Did you ever wonder that maybe the reason all these people tell you not to do it is because... hmm. You SHOULDN'T? Sorry, but that's not classy no matter how you look at it. I'm not trying to be rude, but maybe the reason all these people are saying it's a bad idea is because it actually is. And really, when your ex finds out how shitty he is without you, then what? He'll either A: Try and come between you and your boyfriend, or B: Not give 2 shits either way. It's very unlikely he'll want you back, but not do anything about it. It'll just cause drama.

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    • I don't want him to want me back - I want him to see that I'm happy without him. He got too much pleasure seeing me cry for years.

    • Know how you do that? By doing absolutely nothing. Literally, that's it. He'll see that you don't need him, and that's all that matters. You'll be the better person, and get him back without even trying. Revenge is reserved for petty and the stupid.

  • Forget about getting revenge Hun. You are better than that. The best way to forget him is to just move on

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  • Have someone say that to him in a conversation.

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    • Thank you for being the only one to not tell me not to! :D

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    • You understand me on my most primal level - especially when the person is an ass. I only apply that philosophy to people where it can be stress reliving - though I would love to find someone who I never feel the need or want to get revenge on.

    • You're right.

  • no. there's no way that i can help you shove that in his face in a classy way. sorry, thats not classy no matter how you do it. it's pathetic. you shouldn't stoop that low to such a level. by moving on, and not acknowledging him anymore, THATS how he'll see that you're happy. you should just cut off all contact with him and move on with your life. by doing that alone, he'll see that he fucked up. there's nothing else you need to do to rub things in his face.

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    • I already did that and for my efforts he has spread bullshit about me, causing a bunch of bullshit and drama.

    • then all you can do is sit back and make himself look like a fool. your true friends will know what's lies and what isnt. and thats all that matters. like i said, don't stoop to such a low level. let him spread bullshit and dont let it effect you. he's clearly not the type of person you want to have yourself associated with anyway. things will blow over. if you dont give him a reaction, he'll get bored with it i guarantee. just be happy in your new relationship and he'll feel like an idiot. (which he is) and if people are misjudging you over the stupid crap he's saying, you don't want to be associated with them either.

    • let him make himself look like a fool*

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