My boyfriend was divorced and sometimes I feel very scared by it?

He told me he would get married again and wants a family (they never had kids)

He de friended her on facebook, removed all pictures of or with her. they've been split for a few years. but he has OLD posts on his timeline from when they were married-like 4 years old or more, he probably doesn't realize they are still there. but i see them. and i see the sweet stuff she used to post.

i know it's over and he doesn't love her anymore. but it makes me feel so sad... to see the man i am starting to love have been married to and in love with someone else. it's frightening. it seems like he was a very good loving husband even based on how she always used to write "thank you for doing X Y Z for me you are so amazing"

and he is a very giving guy and very loving towards me too. very sweet and romantic. she left him for an older richer man.

but sometimes knowing his past freaks me out so much, and makes me want to cry... is this normal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can see how it might be normal, but you have to realize that those are his past moments. They shaped him as much as anything else in his past. Assuming he isn't the very first person you have ever loved then consider how you feel towards those persons. It is most likely a caring place inside for all your past loves and that won't ever go away but that doesn't mean you feel the need to make that your life again. He can't remove the past. You might get rid of the pictures and the posts but the memories are always going to be in his head. That part of his life has come and hopefully gone. Now it is time to have another part of his life. A friend once told me, "If they are honest people it isn't the people they have known that you have to worry about. If they wanted to be with those people they would already. Instead, be more mindful of the new people. Those are the ones that may turn out to be a better fit." Not that you need to worry or step out of line but realize the past has come and gone. It can't be changed. They will have experienced many things without you. Instead spend your time creating enjoyable experiences in the time you have left with them.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Sounds to me like you're a bit paranoid although I will admit it's not my place to say. But for as long as you love him you will also need to trust him or you will never be truly happy in your relationship. If it bothers you too much just talk to him about the posts and tell him you would feel better if they were deleted. If he loves you he should be able to solve the problem without complaint.

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  • I think it's normal for a girl to feel that way. If I were thinking that way, I'd think I had gone insane, but I compare it to how I'd feel if I had just seen an old p*rno starring my current SO.
    Try to remember that what's important to him is who he shares his time, resources, space, and experiences with, not whether his Facebook timeline is cleaned up.

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  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, The Past Is The Past For A Reason, If You Continue To Bring The Past Up In The Future, Your Thoughts Will Eventually Get The Best Of You & It Only Create Turmoil For The Relationship. You Had No Business Going through His Old Facebook Statuses & Going Onto Her Page, Are You A Private Investigator? You Are Dating Him Now So Be Happy, Curiosity Killed The Cat & Now That You've Dug Into His Past, It's Killing You Inside & You Will Never Forget What You Saw, If His Past Bothers You That Much iSuggest Leaving Him, If Not, STOP DIGGING For Stuff Not Concerning You...

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  • My sister married aguy who turned to have had THREE ex-wives! So she felt secure he wasn't interested in any of them now!

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  • It's not his fault she left him. If he left her then there would be problems . Just tell him straight up about those posts tell him to remove them , I'm sure he will.

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