So my ex and I met when we were 16 going on 17. We were together for almost 7 years and have a 5 yr old child together. We have been broken up for about 2 months now and it has been devastating to me. He said he was unhappy with me and our relationship was going nowhere. He was right, it wasn't. I was depressed for a long time, I didn't cook, clean, go to school, work, drive. I basically loaded everything onto him and became co-dependent and we had a very dysfunctional relationship. Before he decided to leave me, he was taking SSRI drugs for anxiety,, which made him detach very quickly. He was very cold and unfeeling and didn't want to work it out. He gets off medication next month. So now I'm thinking once he gets off medication and becomes normal (mentally) his emotions might start coming back and he might start missing me. I took it as a huge wake-up call. I've lost 15 pounds, going to the gym, back to school and started driving. I'm also looking for jobs. I'm trying to be as proactive and positive as I can be, for myself, but also because I still love him and I hope that he is noticing the changes I'm making. I desperately want to get him back. But first I'm trying to become an independent woman to show him (and myself most importantly) that if we were to ever get back together, it would be because I want his company and do not NEED him to do everything for me. I'm just honestly terrified that he will find someone else or start having lots of promiscuous sex now that he got out of such a long LTR. I'm not ignorant and I know he probably will. I want him to fall back into love with me, because we ARE soulmates. I think he just got so fed up with everything that he decided it wasn't worth anymore trouble. Do you think re-inventing myself completely might make him fall in love with me again? I'm not doing it for him (completely) bt more for myself. I am feeling better, and feel like I have control of my own life now, and am feeling bettr
Most Helpful Guy
I am not going to tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear.
The relationship that was is over. It will never return. Don't hang onto it any longer. You were young, and most of those relationships do not last. Its time to mourn its loss, heal and move on.
You two will always be a part of each other because of your child, but don't be miserable trying to make it work.
You both have some maturing to do. Let the changes happen. Embrace them, for you and your child, not anyone else.
Your changes have to be for you. They are a good start. Stop hanging on. He is moving on, I suggest you do the same or you will be a miserable doormat.
Your situation added to his condition and need for medication, getting back together will only bring it back. Find your own happiness. Don't make him be the key to that happiness, it lies in you, not him.
This is the time to learn who you are and what you need and want for happiness. You have a child to consider too. Remember, what you do and how you let yourself be treated effects them and helps determine how they allow themselves to be treated and treat others.
Let him go do his thing and you do yours. Soulmate is a nice term too easily thrown around. You had a connection. Its gone. Remember it fondly, but don't hang onto it.0
Most Helpful Girl
It's worth a shot and I think you're on the right path. Regardless of what happens that is not in your control. What is in your control is what you make of your life for you and your child.
He has to want it for it to happen and only he knows that. So you need to just talk to him and lay it all out. To be honest he might want to have some freedom before he comes around. That's something you need to ask yourself, whether or not you can deal with that.
I'm NOT condoning sleeping around but reality is you both got together very young. You already have a child together, and add the stress from all of that. You both weren't even really grown emotionally. Your both at the age where you're starting to know yourself and what you want for yourself.
So your choice is to continue to better your life and choose how patient you are with him. Choose how long you want to work it out. Weigh it all out and remember that only so much an come from your part. He has to want it and act on it too. Regardless of what happens you have turned over a new leaf and you will be okay and happier in time.0