Why does my ex REALLY still want me around (his reason isn't convincing me)?

Me and my ex broke up about four months ago (after almost 10 months) but we have had arguments about our break up. He broke up with me because he wanted to focus on his career first and doesn't want to settle down for a few years but he has begged me to stay around as friends. He kept promising me that I did nothing wrong and to never over think it. He also said I'm a big reason why the past school year went so great. So I have tried to stay his friend but it quite hasn't been working.

A couple of weeks ago, I was so tired of it I told him about it. I told him I'm not sure if I can handle the idea of him talking to other girls and possibly hooking up though I know he wouldn't be dating anybody for awhile (I found out from his phone sitting in front of me, opened). I asked him why he still wanted me around because I didn't think there was a good reason. He said I have become his best friend and I am the only girl who could truly tolerate him and his weird sense of humor (he does have a weird sense of humor but I deal with it and joke back). He also said he will always want me around no matter what happens. I asked him if there was a possibility we'd get back together then if he kept saying those things. He told me to forget about the past and just right now to remain friends with him and also said when he would be ready for a relationship, he is assuming I will be in another relationship so he would have no choice but to deal with it but he would want to stay my friend. I kept telling him I can't handle the thought of him and other girls right now, even not on a relationship level and all he said is "Just forget about the past. Do things to distract yourself" and "Please let's just remain friends." I told him fine but I'm still not fully convinced why we should be.

Why would he be saying these things if he knows that I can't handle the thought of him and other girls?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, First Thing You Have To Do Is Cut The String, He Is Stringing You Along, While He Is Single Talking To Other Girls You Are Single & Waiting. That's Not Right, Look, Maybe You've Failed To Realize This But You Both Can Date Other People & Get Back Together In The Future, He Won't Like It But Who Cares, He Is Doing It & Knows You Dont Like It, & He Isn't Taking Your Feelings Into Consideration So Why Are You? It's Not Possible To Be Friends With An Ex Right After A Break-Up Either, You Need Time To Let Your Feelings & Emotions Settle...

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  • Sorry your situation sounds pretty unbearable. It sounds like you still want to be with him, and you are waiting for him. He on the other hand, doesn't want commitment with you but wants you to still be around as a friend while he just does whatever. But he is doing this without taking into account how you feel about the situation. It sounds like he is just using you. He is clearly benefiting in every way from the situation, where you are not. Why should you suffer in silence for an interminable amount of time? Clearly you can't handle just being friends with him. And that is perfectly OK. You gotta do what is right for you, and what makes you feel at peace and happy.

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    • I wouldn't say I am waiting for him but I do still want to be with him though I know he doesn't want that. With anybody. In what way is he using me though (genuinely curious)? I feel like he is too but I can't explain why because we haven't had sex or anything since we broke up. I told him he's the only one benefiting though I am not on the other hand. He just told me the same "forget about the past, just let me be your friend" advice. He's assuming I'll be in another relationship and has no choice but to deal with it when he is ready for another relationship, but I honestly can't see myself moving on anytime soon because of how much he has hurt me with this situation.

    • He is using you emotionally. He still needs you around in the capacity that a "friend" can provide. However based upon what you want/need you aren't getting everything you want. Look at it this way, he gets to have his ideal by having different women perform different roles. You are his emotional support. And the women he might hook up with are his sexual support. Normally in a committed relationship a girlfriend would perform both of those roles.

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