Is it weird to immediately want to be friends with an ex as soon as you break up?

My ex broke up with me after 9 months of dating due to lifestyle differences - sex was not a big thing to him, he could have taken it or left it (low libido due to anti depressants). As soon as he dumped me, he acted like nothing changed! Emailing/texting/wanting to hang out. I was confused so I asked him what was up and he said that he still loves me and thinks I am the coolest girl, and since sex isn't important to him anyway, he figured we'd just continue as we were but with no physical intimacy. I think this is so selfish and inconsiderate. I told him I wanted to sever all contact and he got upset. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So he wants his (emotional) needs met but it doesn't bother him if your needs aren't getting met. Yeah, sounds selfish to me too.

    by the way not that it matters now, but there are some newer antidepressants that don't interfere with sex drive.

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    • Part of the low sex drive is just him - he told me from the start that he is not driven by sex. Sex was something we did but if I had told him I had a headache every time I saw him, I don't think it would have been a big deal. He looks more for emotional connections.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow! This is like exactly what happened to me, minus the whole sex thing (I'm the one who didn't want to have sex).
    I know exactly how you feel, mine acted the same way. Except he wanted us to still hold hands and kiss (Yes, while we're broken up), and when I didn't want to he'd get upset. Eventually, after two months of being "Friends" I told him that I can't do it and I need to get over us and try and move on. He got mad too.

    What you're doing is right, if you're hurt still by all of this then you cannot be friends yet (or maybe never). I'm still not over my ex and I think about him at night and cry, but I know I did the right thing by avoiding all contact.

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    • Ugh, I know, they want you minus the commitment, that's the bottom line. Like "oh well, our lifestyles aren't compatible and there's no future, but I still love you and want to keep you in my life the way you were, but we are free to see other people". Uh, I don't think so. Plus when he knew I was dating and that other guys liked me, he was so jealous! It's pure selfishness on their part - they want to have their cake and eat it too

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    • It's the "seeing other people part" that's the only real difference. Too bad - you make the decision to break up, certain things are going to happen, it's part of the deal. Period.

    • Hahaha I know. Like how about, you make up your fucking mind and stop acting like a 12 year old child.
      I remember telling my ex that with his decision there's a consequence and the consequence is losing me. He replied with "But I want you to be a part of my life". wtf?
      But yeah, I pissed him off and we're not talking anymore. (Mostly because I asked him to not text me anymore).

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What Guys Said 3

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, It's Not Possible To Become Friends With An Ex RIGHT AFTER A Break Up, You Both Are Running High On Emotions & Need Time Away From Each Other...

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  • Yea, you can't just be friends cause he is emotionally attached
    to you and your better off breaking off all ties but do it in way
    that you let him down easy

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  • He never really saw you as more than a friend in the first place that's why he can act like this because the strong feelings aren't there.

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    • He's done this with all his exes, he can't break the connection completely so that's not necessarily true. He still hangs out with his ex wife who he was really in love with and who left him.

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    • Very unusual seems like there is an underlying issue , perhaps something that happened when he was younger.

    • He's very sexually repressed- he was probably the worst sexual partner I've ever had. He had a very prudish mother and a father that beat him. There you go...

What Girls Said 1

  • Look, the only thing you can do is cut all communication (block his number and face book and what not) or don't. If you want back with him then tell him you can't be friends, if you want nothing more then tell him and block him. Let him get upset it's called a break up for a reason, it's broken.

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    • I told him I was severing the contact with him and he was upset, but that's too bad.

    • I don't mean to be harsh or mean, I just have found that if lines aren't drawn now, they never will be and it hurts.

    • I totally agree, thanks hon:)

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