Are people in love crazy?

I dated a girl for 6 months. She pressured me to tie the knot, I was busy, and stressed transitioning out of the military and wasn't sure so we split. She called me 89 times and sent me a message that was so mean, I just shook my head and didn't talk to her for six months. She just recently unblocked me, and changed her photo to the picture I had of her on my phone. I feel bad for not contacting her the night she blew up my phone but was so hurt by the message I didn't know what to do. I would work to get back together with this person because we did share an intense and passionate relationship together and understand that she may be gone by now, should I add her, pursue her and eventually marry her, or save face and move on. Please mature responses only. Thank you all.

Updates:
Thanks all.
I am still deeply in love with her and would want her to be the mother of my children because I know she'd do a wonderful job. Even if her hair started to gray out I'd still love her. Here's the thing.. she is overseas... I know.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 89 times
    ... either there was a severe miscommunication and you should sit down and talk it out.
    ... or she is crazy and you should move on.

    In the case of the former, being in the military it's a common thing, life is chaotic, your schedule fluctuates unpredictably. Civilian romances are at the mercy of seemingly unreasonable policies. God-forbid you get deployed or assigned out-of-state/overseas, as both of you have to deal with the long distance relationship ordeals.
    It's easy to get stressed and for one (or both) partners to get fed up. It happened to my brother when he got married in the Air Force, and I've seen dozens of soldiers face that situation when I was in the Army. Divorces were rampant.
    As a drill instructor in AIT once told us, military life tears apart weak relationships and greatly strengthens already strong relationships.

    ... if she is crazy, maybe you were so busy with your job that you had lower standards, and you didn't notice she had a Doctor Jekyl / Miss Hyde thing going on.

    Either way, it's been 6 months since you last spoke. I'd give her some space and just be really casual, keeping conversation light, if you do decide to contact her. If you do decide at one point that she's worth pursuing, you'll have plenty of time to rekindle you relationship...(there's no reason to try and kickstart it on day 1, ya know?)

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'd let her go, she obviously has a major lack of ability to handle stress if she gets that obsessive and vile over a break up. A mature adult would give you space, be understanding of your situation, and find a good time to talk it out instead of hopping aboard the crazy train and going into attack mode.

    Also, just gonna throw this in here, getting hitched after only six months is a terrible, terrible idea and you had every right to be unsure. The only time two rational people should get married that early is if one is PCSing to a far away base and they feel it's worth it.

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  • I think you should let it go. We all get a little crazy when we fall in love. I know I have. But she seemed to get a little too crazy. Demanding marriage after 6 months? Then 89 calls and mean messages? Why would you want to be with someone like that? Or have your future children be raised by someone like that?

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  • Everybody is sane till they fall in love.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You say it was "an intense and passionate relationship"
    But was there any love?

    I think this is what you need to ask yourself.
    Strong emotions doesn't equal love. It's easy to get confused and mixed up emotionally when you have, like you say "an intense and passionate relationship"

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  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, If She Is Overseas Then It May Be Harder To Have An Actual Relationship, Communication Is Key, If Deep Down You Want To Try & Make Things Right Then Go For It. If You Can't Over Look The Mean Message & Missed Fone Calls Then Move On & Forget Her...

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