My boyfriend and I broke up over a month ago. We still talk almost every day. He keeps saying things like we just need to be good friends but he knows I can't just be friends with him because my feelings are much stronger then that. we used to fight a lot and now we don't since we broke up. I asked him if "just friends" was going to be how this ends up or if we can try and see if things can be good again because he says he misses the happy parts of our relationship his response is he's "leaning more towards friends but maybe more he really just doesn't know and to take things day by day and we will see if it can be happy again." Also he hasn't told his family we broke up. I'm not sure if it's just time to move on or keep holding on. Is he just keeping me on the back burner? When I ask him to send me pictures of himself because I miss him he does and we say goodnight and XO every night. Maybe the problem is that he knows I care deeply for him and won't leave yet I don't know. I'm not sure what to do I'm so torn.
Most Helpful Guy
I'm not going to tell you what to do because either decision is acceptable. But I will try and help you see things differently. First of all he's just a person. He's a person you've built up deep feelings for but he's still just a person. The reason I say this is because people have flaws and they're complicated. The outcome of this situation is unpredictable. He in his head has a billion ideas about how he feels about you and how he feels about himself all cluttered up with how things used to be and how things are now and how he feels about all that. There's probably a lot more thoughts about himself than you but that's just our nature. We naturally care a lot about keeping ourselves happy. For the sake of keeping yourself positive and keeping your views of him positive it may be helpful to remember that he's only human. This also means he's as unsure about life as the rest of us and sometimes we hold on to the things that comfort us. Like babies holding on to our mothers hand while reaching out for a toy. The baby knows that getting the toy would be easier if he let go of his moms hand but fear of falling keeps him holding on. Many of us date the same way. We know we want to date someone else but because we're unsure of what will happen we cling to comfort even though it may not be what we really want. If reaching out seems to hard we may quit and run back but often times we're left wondering what if and the desire to let go and grab that thing just out of reach sticks around in our heads. And we can't help but wonder if the grass is greener. But the problem with always looking over the fence thinking about that possibly greener grass is that we can't give our full attention to our own grass and it usually isn't as well maintained because of that. But people change and life is unpredictable so I say make the decision that gives you the outcome that you believe will make you the happiest but brace yourself for being disappointed a little. You'll be fine.0