Did my relationship with my ex not matter? Found out some news today?

There is this guy I used to date for about 4 months. We were not yet officially boyfriend/girlfriend. He was 29 and I was 20. He even said he liked me and would treat me so well. He treated me like a true gentleman and I could tell he was not the type to look for a fling at all.
Then one day, after we hadn't spoken for a while, (not a fight or anything) and he said that he felt we shouldn't talk anymore. He gave the following reasons:

1) He said that since I'm just about to be 21 and start my life, I will want to live my life without being tied down to a guy, while he's already at the tail of the whole "Living the single and young life" phase in his life. (In the back of my mind, I wondered the same from time to time)
2) He said he didn't like how I would rarely reach out to him and that he would have to initiate contact. (But I did show lots of interest without having to reach out) I admit I am guilty of this but now learned.

He broke it off and this was about 4 months ago. Throughout this time, I've missed him more and more each week. I had finally gotten to courage to reach out to him and decided to text him saying that I miss him. He texted back saying he had a girlfriend.

Now, people say before a guy breaks up with a girl, he thinks about it weeks in advance. I wonder if he started talking to this other girl while we were dating. And it raised the question: ALTHOUGH he gave the reasons for breaking up as the age difference and initiating contact issue, what happened to his interest in me?
Just a month before he had told me he likes me and how he thinks im different from most of the girls he's dated. How did he just throw his interest out the window?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Every guy responds differently to pain. Sounds like he saw irreconcilable differences. No way to solve them. So moving on was the only productive course of action.

    Move on be happy and enjoy life. Positive behavior draws positive attention. Don't waste today and tomorrow on something u could never control. You say u learned from mistakes... great. Don't repeat them. Wish him the best. End as gracefully as you can. Leave the door open or closed however you wish and go on with life. Every step brings you that much closer to the right one rather than dwelling on the wrong one.

    • Thanks :) You sound like a great person

    • Show All
    • No way to know and it doesn't really matter. All roads lead to the same destination. Maybe feelings weren't there, maybe he realized it wasn't right and moved on, maybe he's been pining forever for this one, could be a coping mechanism... what's it matter...
      Obviously it wasn't meant to be move forward. Be happy. It could have ended so much worse later on. Reality is obviously you had deeper feelings than he had. You may never get closure but be happy you know now what u didn't then. Learn from life and move on. Happiness has happened for me as I put myself in positive situations. Live a happy life, it's the best revenge.

    • Yeah. It's hard but I should move on. Thanks a lot and take care !

Most Helpful Girl

  • i think he was talking to other girls while being with you and started liking someone else to be honest and if he was doing that to you my guess is he's doing that to her to maybe it was good he left he knew he was doing something he wasn't suppose to be doing and thats why he left saving u from a lot really if a guy cares about u he will be honest and open about everything not lead u to think more and just because u turn a certain age meaning him when he was 21 he may think the party life is fun but it comes with a lot of cons then pros i would rather be 21 and exploring life with friends and staying loyal to one and travel the world with that one then searching and getting myself into trouble i can't get myself out and i definitely don't wanna be paying for my faults in general cause i can do way better things with my money and time and in my life so in this case he's a loser and he's doing u a favor by leaving don't think u did anything wrong he just wanted some thing fast that he couldn't get right away


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, iThink He Possibly Wanted To Start Dating This Girl While You Two Were Dating & He Used Those Excuses As An Escape Out Of The Relationship, All You Can Do Is Accept It & Move On...

  • Yeah I moved on after 3 weeks. And i was really into her, 4 month is loong time. Maybe he wasn't genuinely interested. Sometime guys say thing like that to make you feel special.


What Girls Said 1

  • It's hard to say. He's a guy, so it's unlikely he broke up with you simply because he wanted you to live your life. I don't think most guys think that way.


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