Any advice on getting an ex back? I brokeup with him, but I feel as if it may have been a mistake?

i left him. he hasn't contacted me, i haven't contacted him. but i want to! but it seems as if everything i read it says "DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX!" and im thinking how can i get him back if i can't talk to him? so i took internet advice and proceeded to doing the no contact rule. i just miss him, and i was the one who left.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Med11 is absolutely right! First you haven't provided a lot of information, however you made a mistake. Why did you leave him? If it was for something stupid he probably will never forgive you and you're just wasting your time. Worse yet, he could just use you until someone else comes along. Your profile says you're under 18. You're young, and this is going to happen. Chalk it up to a learning experience and move on.

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    • i always get told "im young" too "young" for love. so are you implying once im (30 to 35) boom ill magically be ready for love? and i left him because he had a sudden chage, things were great with us 1000000 percent great, if there was a problem wed talk it out together then come to an agreement. but all of assuen he changes, stop calling, stoppped carining about my feelings and was always so short with my text. all out of nowhwere! i felt as if i didn't needed to be treated that way so i left... i send him a message saying how i miss him and hope his day is great and got no reply so i feel as if he's permantly changed, at the same time i feel like i was a bad gf for not putting up with him and making it work, even tho i did talk to him about his change and how it hurt my feelings, he woluld somehow put the blame onto me, but i miss him.. and i guess ill change my age so then ill actualy get help cause apparently i guess if im like 500 years old and not 17 people will understand me:(

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    • i just told you why i left him, it was because he changed. permantly? temporaily? i have no clue, but i left. and i miss him. i contacted him. he didn't reply. like why would he waste 6 months of both our lives to just change and not care. boys are stupid, im going to be a lesbian.

    • Oh the joys of youth. Enjoy it while you can!

      In all seriousness, let it go. So he treated you like crap. His loss. He's young and stupid too. So he "Changed permantely" guess what? Life goes on for you both. Consider it a learning experience and believe me, there will be other guys who get your attention. If you have to "go lesbian", you're just doing it to lash out because you've been hurt.

Most Helpful Girl

  • So I read what you sent back to MothMonsterMan so let me guess you left him because he had a sudden change like he changed how he cared about you and stuff? I can see that because I went through the same thing with my ex, and I was the one that left the first time but we got back together in January and then he left me in March he changed a lot though. You don't deserve to be treated that way, my ex treated me like dirt honestly he made no time for me, cheated on me, said he missed me but never thought about seeing me. So I understand exactly where you are coming from. If you didn't get a reply from him then he probably didn't change he probably just is avoiding you or something. Don't take it to hard honestly, I have to go right now I apologize but I'll give you some more advice as soon as you reply. I lost feeling for my ex and he changed a lot.

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    • i just can't believe he didn't even try to work it out this time, weve broken up before but both of us would just come to reaslise we love eachother and we would both work to make it work out and fix problems. this time i was telling him dont like the new him and that he's hurting my heart and id just get a "ok" or "you trippin" or "chill,," . he obv just didn't care anymore, i even have old screenshots of him sending me long messages to apologize to me if he felt as if he hurt me in anyway, but this time.. nothing, no "im sorry" no "wel work things out" nothing, he even unfollowed me on instagram , he's never did that durring any argument, i took that as a "i dont care to see what you look like or your life i pictures cause im out of it" in reality i left him, yeah but i mean he gave me a good as reason to! he wasn't treating me right. a relatinship takes 2 but i felt as if it was all me. like i said this change happened all of assuden. but i miss him so much its crazy.

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    • i hope you dont think of me as not listening or stupid :( i understand your advice, i underrstand its better to just move on than to be in a unhealthy relationship. but the thing is he did treat me right we did see eye to eye it was a good team work realatinship until he recently changed, i feel as if i left him hanging in a way. i feel as if i shoulev just not brokn up with him but just gave him time alone for a bit, enstead of just being like okay its over :/ i feel now that actualy breaking up with him was a bad choice now im just stuck wishing i had him back! but i did tell him i miss him and he didn't reply so im sure he dosent feel the same way, or maybe he needs time. can you please help me, my friends aren't a help and thats why im here desperatly asking random strangers for help, im just crying right now... all i can do is cry.. and im the only child i dont have a big sis or bro to look up for help or anything :(

    • I wish I had a big sister but I have a little brother but anyways at least he treated you right. Did he change for the good or the bad? Don't chase him, that's going to make you look desperate let him come to you if he wants you back he'll come get you don't chase love if you have to chase it back then it must not be that valuable I can do my best to give you advice though. Don't cry please <3 :) Ur not alone

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What Guys Said 3

  • With the limited information you provided, it's truly difficult to garner a response. That said, you need to realize something immediately and that is, after a breakup takes place, it is extremely difficult to get that original feeling back from the one who felt slighted and even more so difficult for them to fully trust you again. The age old "don't cry wolf" adage comes into play for this in terms of that if you don't want the breakup to happen, don't say things out of either spite, anger, or emotional response.

    Frankly, if someone broke up, initiated a no contact rule, didn't contact me to either talk it out or apologize, and then, all of a sudden, in five days wanted me back, I would think her out of her mind and wouldn't respond other than to tell her good luck and perhaps we can be friends down the line. The bouncing behavior of love/like/not like/breakup and reverse is something that men rarely, if ever, tolerate. I wish you the best of luck though but, in the future, don't follow what anyone else tells you to do and follow your heart/use your brain (and that includes myself).

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  • It's OK for you to contact him, since it was your decision.
    He could be avoiding any contact with you, because it will only drive you further away if you haven't changed your mind.
    If you miss him, you should tell him soon. If you leave it too late, he'll be gone.

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    • thanks! but please answer this for me... if i contact him , even if its just a "hey how are you , won't it look like im weak and undecisive? won't he think "ha, i knew she wouldn't just leave me i knew shed come back" and then i look stupid? cause in my mind i think i have nothing to loose anyway

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    • Yes, but I doubt he won't reply. I doubt that he won't be pleased to her from you.

    • well he didn't reply and now im feeling like a mixture of feelings and its not really good..

  • it depends on the reason why you broke up

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well if you left him for a good reason don't go back to him but if you really miss him than at least try to be friends or try and find out if he wants to talk to you

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