Best friend and lover of 2 years suddenly ends everything?

I started hooking up again with my best friend and roommate about 8 months ago. I know this already sounds like a recipe for disaster but just bear with me. We both had family tragedies in our lives, and found that we needed to rekindle our old flame from about 2 years ago, because in the end of the day, we both just needed each other. This went on until the beginning of the summer break (we are at university together). At the start of summer, we both confessed our feelings for one another over the phone but he was scared of a full-blown relationship as he has been very hurt in the past. So I suggested we hold onto our feelings and keep the possibility of being a couple in mind, until we could properly meet up and discuss it. Unfortunately, he has a really intense job over the summer, which meant meeting up was impossible as we live quite far away from each other and it was hard to schedule. So 2 months after we finally met up (yesterday). I was still in the position where we left things, where I still really liked him and I wanted to explore the feelings. However, he told me straight up, that he decided he didn't like me anymore. He's also hooked up with someone else back home. I was clearly devastated and wanted to leave that moment, but he begged me to stay because we are still best friends and he loves me. He then proceeded to tell me that he was still really attracted to me and he cares about me so much and he loves me as a best friend, and stupidly, we ended up hooking up and cuddling all night long. It was so tragic and we both cried, and we left each other at the train station today. I just don't know where to go from here. I love him so much, he's my best friend and the only person I can talk to. I just can't believe that all those feelings he told me he had have vanished so suddenly. I guess I just need some perspective on this. I can't just cut off contact because he's still my best friend and we live in a house together. What should I do now?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he does love you but is forcing himself not to pursue it because a) He's afraid to ruin your friendship, b) He's afraid it won't work out as you guys live far away, c) He doesn't want to break up with his current girlfriend. Anyway, he probably does like you because you kissed and cuddled.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Somebody Needs To Move Out & You Need To Cut All Contact (Temporarily) So You Can Self Heal & Get Your Feelings Under Control...

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  • Make it easier on him and dont press yourself on him, try to start seeing someone else.

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