Is my bf a computer addict? I want to leave him, is that understandable?

He is working from home, but he is constantly at the laptop playing. When I come home late at night, he sits in the complete dark playing games on the computer. He literally didn't even get up to switch on the light when it got dark. (This happens all the time, not only once)
The first thing on weekend mornings: open computer to play. First thing when coming home: open computer to play.
Today we were supposed to meet at my football match. He arrived during first half but in the half time, he told me he is getting cold and wants to go home (It was nearly 20 degrees celsius). Later I found out, that he had a long-sleeve jumper in his bag. He actually kind of lied to me. And guess what he did, when I arrived at home?
I don't know what to do. I talked to him, but his answer is: you are always on your computer! Which is my reaction to his absence and apart from the fact that I work on it.
I feel, he actually doesn't have a life anymore, everything he talks to me about is a story he read or saw on the internet.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Regardless of whether he has a real diagnosable addiction, his preoccupation with his computer is clearly something that doesn't work for you. It's also something you've mentioned many times that he has no desire to change. You can give it one last ditch effort and sit him down to talk about it again, letting him know this is a dealbreaker for you. However, he's likely not going to change his behavior. Addictions are powerful, and he either has to break it on his own when he's ready, or find a woman who has no issue with it. If this isn't working for you (and it wouldn't work for me either), be strong and leave!

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 5

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Sounds Like Your Unhappy In This Relationship, You've Already Told Him How You Felt & He Still Hasn't Changed. He isn't Taking Your Feelings Into Consideration So It's Best To Move On, Be Strong & Stay Positive...

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  • Two ways this can go.
    You can take him to rehab.
    Leave him.

    If you do leave him , can I have his laptop when he throws it out in disgust?

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  • I advise to break up with him, right now he doesn`t act nearly as a good boyfriend by not spending time with his girlfriend. A relationship is about spending time with each other and doing things for your loved one which you may not like but will make your loved one appreciate it.
    I will be honest and say that I also played a lot of games on pc and consoles, but when I got a girlfriend my gaming time was reduced to maybe 30 minutes to 1 hour a day when I wasn`t spending time with her by going somewhere or chatting with her.
    If he doesn`t drastically change his way of living you should break up with him and find someone else, you are worth more than having a boyfriend who can`t stay away from a game.
    There are a lot more guys out there who will treat you way better than he does.

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  • I've seen a meme for your situation before. If he doesn't listen to how you feel and change his ways, break up with him.

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  • Think of it this way... if you were falling out of love with him, you would have found just about any excuse to dump him.

    How long has your relationship lasted?

    In a way, I am a computer "addict". I spent a lot of my time working (and earning my living) from the computer. It's a tough and lonely life out there!

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    • ouch.. I guest you caught me with your first sentence :-)
      We are together for 6,5 years already, he actually recently moved in to my place, so now I realise this. I have absolutely no problem with guys playing computer games. But this thing today really kind of threw me off.

What Girls Said 3

  • An addiction is an addiction. If he's unwilling to work on it or get help, then you need to leave. T this point it doesn't even sound like a relationship.

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  • Try to talk to him once more and make it clear that him being on the computer like that is actually a deal breaker to you. Throwing 6.5 years together down the drain over a computer is a bit sad... unless there are other things going on that has made you fall out of love with him?
    Basically give him an ultimatum: the computer or you. He doesn't have to throw the computer away or anything, but he should definitely tone it down a bit. The fact that he would rather go home and play his computer instead of rooting for you at your match kind of says a lot about how obsessed he is with it. Relationship or not, that's just unhealthy. He shouldn't let his computer interfere with some very basic daily activities like that. He's got a problem.

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  • Yep he does sound like a addict - I agree with the user below by the way

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